we found one!!!

PRAISE GOD For all He provides!!! We found and have had our bid accepted on a house!! It was the most complete house for what we wanted in a great neighborhood. I really wanted a house that had all the bedrooms downstairs as I'm sorta tired of hauling baskets of laundry up--these granny legs aren't what they use to be--lol!! John got the three car garage he wanted too!

The best thing of all is that we should be closing on our wedding anniversary! Now that is the best anniversary gift ever!

House shopping!!!!!!

I am over the moon with excitement about going house hunting!! I never thought we would be at this point again with all that has taken place. I could not have known we would be going through all we did well over a year ago when we finally just picked up and moved form the Wagoner house but GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL THROUGH IT ALL EVEN THOUGH I HAVE HAD WEAK MOMENTS!

The funny thing about things having taken as long as they have is that John and I both have a greater understanding of what exactly we do want--things that seemed so important 1 and 2 years ago no longer matter. Our family size has shrunk so we don't need as much space as we thought and living with some features that we thought we would just love has turned out for me to be things I really could live without ( like hauling laundry up and down stairs--ugh!!).

God has been so faithful to listen to me whine and complain about this and that and of course He has also had some times in which HE needed to remind me that my place in life is to grow where I'm planted which was not what I really wanted to do a lot of the time. Through all of this I have mastered the art of appreciation in ways I never had before and so I would gladly go through all of the past again just to have that valuable lesson learned.

We have a short list of about 7 houses to go see --so far none stood out as something we were head over heals about but I think that is because we have come to value the love that goes into making a house a home and not just the outside structure. I really believe with all my heart I can be happy with whatever house we do end of buying ( even if I have to spend the next 16 years hauling laundry upstairs-lol!!).I'm ready to bloom where God wants us planted and enjoy the growing season.

They want the HOUSE!!!!

Praise GOD the very thing that I prayed for is coming to pass!!! We have new people who WANT THE WAGONER HOUSE!!!! In fact they wanted it so much they kept calling and calling trying to get us to just lease it out but when we said we wanted to sell it out right they went and found a way to buy it!!!! We did let them 'rent it' while the paperwork goes through and all but fully expect to have it in their name ASAP!!!

I prayed God would send a woman who would love that house and want it so much she was giddy with joy and that is exactly what she is. The husband and wife are beside themself that they have this house and it is EXACTLY what they were praying for!!!!


So glad and thankful that my GOD has never forgotten me and is always abounding toward me with good things!! IT is He who gets the glory of that house ( and His kingdom that will receive the tithe of the sale!!)

THANK YOU LOVING FATHER FOR SENDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE AND PRAISE YOU FOR THE FAVOR THEY HAVE WITH THE CREDIT COMPANY TO COMPLETE THE TRANSACTION!!!!

Kicking myself!

You know that old saying hind sight is 20/20 well it really is true! So is the trust in God's leading and ways and not mankind.How I wish I could turn back the hands of time and undo some decisions I made in my life but there really is nothing you can do but repent and press forward....'forgetting the things of the past and press in to the prize of high calling" that comes from serving God with all your heart mind body and soul.

Over a year ago when my faith was weak and my body doing some "freaky" things I ran to the doctor seeking answers. I was given medicine that would stop all the troubles while I worked on losing weight but it didn't happen like the doctor said it would. Instead I felt worse and then my body got worse. The sad thing was that I felt at the time He gave me the meds I shouldn't take them but work on the weight issue but FEAR from the "attacks" I was having out weighed my faith and I took the meds thinking I would just go off them when everything got better.

And now here it is over 14 months later and I"m not only better but clearly see my lack of faith over myself and how I have allowed fear to rob me of my faith. With the doctors permission I'm trying to get off the meds but it's proving far harder than I ever imagined--my body is reacting in not so fun ways and I'm having to use every once of faith I have to not let fear of what the withdrawal symptoms are doing to me take over. Some of the withdrawals are worse than anything I had before I ever took the meds!!!! I'm going to be taking it one day at a time and trust in the Lord with all my heart,mind, body and soul.

The good news is that my blood pressure has come down with the twenty pounds I have lost so I don't need this BP med any more...... I just need to get through the beta blocker withdrawals which are brutal at times.

I'm so looking forward to being 'myself' again!!!

Flying the coupe!

The time has come for our youngest daughter to spread her wings and fly. Annie got her own apartment this week and moved. It's been VERY hard on this over protective Mom to let her go even though I have done it three times before. You know the day you hold your precious kids in your arms they are only yours for a while but that "DAY" of letting them go seems so far in the future that you never think about it. I should have been better prepared but I wasn't ,even though she had this place on hold now for a full month I guess I had this tiny bit of hope that she would change her mind and decide to say a little longer.

I have spent the last three days watching her excitement and holding back my tears and trying not to let on what I have been feeling, after all every girl just wants to be excited about their first place and not have her mom rain on her parade. BUT MAN IS IT HARD!!!! I haven't been sleeping, food doesn't taste right and my nerves are on edge!! Then this morning the light bulb goes off and I realize the reason I have been struggling is I haven't turned HER OVER TO GOD--after all she really is his daughter before she is mine. So this morning that is what I"m doing!! Praying crying and giving her back, reaching out to that new phase in her live that means I'm not as needed as I use to be.

I'm going to try and find the blessing in being the ONLY FEMALE in the family. FInd the joy in ONLY having two kids at home--which is so weird it isn't even funny....... Embrace the fact that the only kids I will be cleaning up is the ones that are still little enough to need to be cleaned up after and not big enough to know better.

I went to Annies new place yesterday and she was excited to show it off--it's just a tiny little apartment but she is so proud of it. Colton wants to come spend the night with her and of course her Daddy is thinking that is a good idea--lol!!! We were teasing the boys that she was moving to the moon as I don't expect her to come home for visits anytime soon ( at least not till the money runs out and her food is gone--lol!!), so now her place is nick named "THE MOON" and the boys can be heard saying " I'm going to visit the moon today!". We pray her journey at the moon is filled with joy, peace, prosperity, and great health and for this mom a little tiny bit of longing to come see the HOME BASE every now and then!!

So for my youngest daughter let me say....... MAY THE LIGHT OF YOUR UPBRINGING SHINE BRIGHT AS YOU SET YOUR FEET UNTO THE PATH GOD HAS FOR YOU--MAY YOUR HEART BE FILLED WITH JOY AND HAPPINESS--MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE---AND MAY YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR MOM LOVES YOU AND IS PROUD AND THANKFUL GOD CHOOSE YOU TO BE HER DAUGHTER!!!!!

Being to frugal

Ok I never thought I'd be the one to admit this but there are times in life when you can be to frugal!! Most of the time I'm a firm believer that name brands are NOT better than off brands and I had a really great time putting a certain brother in law in his place once with my "generic frito chill pie"--lol!! He was such a snob at the time and we were a very young, married with kids struggling family. Listening to him go on and on about how he would NEVER buy generic labeled food and that there is a HUGE difference in taste and quality of generics over name brand, and how buying his clothes at the mall guaranteed his were of better quality than those at the discount stores, left me with the need to show him otherwise. So I made a local favorite for our region better known as "Frito chili pie" I used the cheapest of meat, generic season packets, generic corn ships and generic cheese all of which I took out of the bright yellow labeled bags so they couldn't be identified as generic, and had him over for dinner. It had been years since he had had this and he ate 3 bowls full and went on and on about how good it was---all the time I laughed my head off as he polished off the last of it. Then me being me I gleefully informed him he had just eaten generic food and showed him the bags--lol!! It was the best fun I'd had in a while at the time and I will always remember the look on his face as he enjoyed his humble pie--lol!!!!

So the frugal streak in me continues to this day but this time the joke is on me!! I have a dry eye condition along with some other things going on in my eye and the specialist recommended these eye drops that you can only purchase through an eye care professional. I bought one box to the tune of $22 for 30 vials which only last about three weeks if I use them as much as the doctor wants me to and thought they were great and did notice a big difference in the comfort of my eyes. But at $22 a box and needing to use more than one box a month I thought I surely could find something over the counter that was a thick and cushioning as these were. I went to the discount store and found a box of THICK eye drops for severe dry eyes that where only $12 for a box of 30 vials. I was gleeful as I left thinking I was saving a huge amount per month and went home to try them out. This box advertised all the same comforts and benefits of my "doctor recommended eye drops" and even included the caution that they would make your vision blurry when you first place them in our eyes because they are so thick. I figured they would be the exact same as the expensive ones but one drop in and there was a difference!!! The cheap drops are like putting in liquid silicon and the blurriness lasted several minutes not 30-40 seconds like the doctor drops. After about 10 minutes the comfort these drops provided wore off and my eyes HURT and BURNED---it's 15 hours later and they still feel uncomfortable!! It feels like a layer of something was placed on my eyes and then someone SCRAPED it off---ugh!!!

I'm stuck at the house with my two boys and grandson, I'm out of the good eye drops and no way of running to the eye specialist to purchase some more until late afternoon. I have learned my lesson to listen to the doctor and do what he wants and not worry about the money!! Sometimes it's well worth the extra few dollars!! I only hope that I didn't make the eye condition worse by using the cheap stuff. Lesson learned!! I humbly repent for thinking I knew better than the man that spent YEARS becoming a specialist.

But I think we will have cheap chili pie tonight for dinner just to remind me that sometimes fugal is just as good--lol!!

Forever a parent/Daddy the Hero!

When I was little I had this image of me growing up becoming and adult getting married and leading my own live independent of my parents--after all I was going to be the "grown up" Well for the most part that statement is true as I did grow up, became an adult and have lived independently from my parents for one little tiny part. That is the part in which I still need advice whether asked for or not--lol!! and most of all those little things like help with the kids, coming when I'm sick, taking me to the doctor when I couldn't drive myself and things like that.

When John and I became parents for the first time I realized in a very big way that I was NEVER going to stop being this babies mom---that even though my role in his life may change I was always going to be mom. Our role in the life of our four grown up kids have changed, after all they don't need me telling which socks match the outfit they are wearing or need me nagging at them to brush their teeth before bed but they still very much need us.

Last night John's cell phone rang at 2:30 in the morning--it was our son in love calling to say he just got off the phone with our daughter and she was home scared to death. Since he works the midnight shift there was nothing he could do for her, so her Daddy calls to see what the matter is. She doesn't answer which is unnerving to say the least so I call her." A" answers in a hysterical panic to the point that I think she is hyperventilating. I finally get out of her that she heard sirens and then the police telling someone to get out of the car and she thinks they are right in front of her house. now this might not sound so scary to the average person but she has never lived in the city and had to deal with being home alone with the thought of someone getting arrested right outside your window---with all the stories on TV about people running from the law and breaking into peoples homes it has her scared to be alone. She has made huge strides in this during the past year because she had a baby and now had someone at the house with her but just let her think someone could be milling around her house and the tears of fear start falling.

The funny thing is this is not the child that was afraid of the dark growing up nor is this the child that was very clingy as a young child. THIS IS OUR VERY STUBBORN and VERY INDEPENDENT child. The one that NEVER NEEDED HELP,NEVER ACCEPTED HELP and HAD TO DO THINGS FOR HERSELF ALL THE TIME!!! She was the one that made us pull our hair out at the end of the day because of her independence and stubbornness. At the same time she was also our child that had the most compassion for people and would bend over backwards to help someone else in need.

So when I talked to her and could hear the fear in her voice I knew she wasn't going to get over this with just a phone call. Then she asked if we could come get her and I knew she needed us to be "Mommy and Daddy" just one more time. Her dear Daddy who is still recovering from a hernia repair, not moving around all that well and still having a lot of pain laid there for about two minutes trying to see if she would calm down but then jumped out of bed,got dressed and drove to her house to "rescue" her and the baby and bring her back to our home where she could feel safe and secure. It seems "daddies" little girl is always going to be "daddies" little girl no matter how old she gets or how many kids she has for herself. And most of all Mom and Dad's house is always open for when they need that little bit of security that they had when they were a child and being with mom and dad made all things better.


Oh and I think this year for Christmas we are going to give out GERMAN SHEPHERDS--lol!! after all we old people need our sleep--lol!!

There is a brain!!

The ENT's office called to say--YOU REALLY DO HAVE A BRAIN and it looks good--lol!! What a relief! I was hoping they would say that i had an exceptional brain and that my hubby should listen to me more but I'll take a good looking brain--lol!!

I had an MRI done 10 days ago to help rule out things for why I'm still having some dizzy unstableness. The doctor was confident that the scan would be clear but we needed to do it anyway as they had to rule out tumors on the brain. I have been praying that the doctor would get clear results from any and all test run and that we would get to the bottom of this so I can get on with the abundant life God has for me. So far there are no tumors, no ear infection, no fluid behind the ears but also no relief from that disconnected unstable balance I have been feeling now for over 7 weeks.

The good news is I'm getting better and better every day. I have actually driven the car a few times with another person with me which a HUGE improvement and I can make it through the store to buy groceries without having to sit down or leave because it feels like I'm fainting. I still have yet to go shopping alone but I"m working on it ( so watch out honey 'cause once I can manage around those stores on my own I plan on making up for lost time--lol!!) . The new computer with the LED screen has cut down on the eye disturbance and in turn cut the dizziness, this has allowed me to venture out of the house and walk without holding on to someone. The kids and I have made it through the zoo twice and can go do fun play dates once again!!! You never realize all that you take for granted until you no longer are able to do something.

The one thing I have been forever grateful is that GOD AND HIS WORD NEVER CHANGES I am still the healed no matter what outward symptoms try to hang on and disrupt me!

Vacation on the fly

Friday morning John called to say PACK THE BAGS HONEY WE ARE OUT OF HERE!!!-lol!! He has been wanting to go to Branson where his sister lives for some time now and the work stress was at it's all time high so a break was in order. All I could think when he first called was how often God wants us to be instant in season and out so I put aside my feelings about leaving town on a holiday weekend and heading to the vacation mecca for the tristate area and packed the bags.

To be truthful I DID NOT WANT TO GO--I have been feeling "off" in my physical body for so long and I'm having some inner ear disturbance, so the thought of going on all those windy, hilly,curves was not my idea of a great vacation but I knew how much John needed to get away so I put on my happy face and sucked it up. Life isn't supposed to be "all about me" but more about what can I do for others. I so wanted to say "what are you thinking man!! I can't even walk for more than a quarter mile without feeling like I'll fall down and you want to go to the "walking capital of the world" not to mention car sickness that has developed over the last few months and being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic." But it really isn't all about me.

We made it out the door before noon and pulled into my sister-in-loves house by three. She had moved into this house over 2 years ago and wanted us to come visit and see it but we just never had the money or time to get up there. I love my sister-in-love to pieces as we have a great relationship to the point that most people think we are the ones related as sisters and not John and her-lol!! Because she lives in Branson she can get tickets to shows and events at discounts-we are TALKING HUGE discounts--lol!! The only trouble was they don't sell tickets to locals until 30 minutes before the shows so there is a chance you won't get any--and on a holiday weekend it was darn near impossible--lol!! We made it to the chinese acrobats but left without taking any pictures of the boys with the performers! I cant believe this was our first real vacation with the boys and I didn't get a single picture of it at all--just goes to show that being an older mother sometimes means you FORGET things--lol!!! I did manage to do a little bit of shopping despite the fact that I felt sick and dizzy the whole time. John took the boys with our brother in law to the fish hatchery and they had a wonderful time and later that evening he and Pete went fishing which was the refreshing fun filled time John was seeking in the first place. I ate some shrimp on sunday lunch that didn't agree with me at all and showed how much it didn't agree with me while at an outlet mall--ugh!! My sister in love was a good sport about it though and we would run to a store take a quick peek inside and see if there was anything we wanted than go to the next restroom visit--we repeated this for about an hour when I discovered I had some pepto in my purse and after I took it and felt like it had kicked in we headed back to her house( there was no way I was leaving a working toilet to sit in bumper to bumper traffic without some relief.) of course we had a great laugh about all the "possible" hillbilly toilets we could fashion along the way home--lol!!! It really is wonderful to have someone who shares your since of humor when in a time of distress.

While John was out fishing on sunday evening I sent him a text and asked if we could go home when he got back even though they weren't coming home till after 10. He surprised me with saying YES!!!! So at 11:10 in the evening we loaded up the car and headed home!! Even though we got home at 2 .Am. I was so excited to be back home I had a hard time falling asleep--lol!!

Colton and Braden had a wonderful time playing with Uncle Pete and they held up well with all the car trips to the strip with the promise of going to the 'cowboy' show that we never got to see because it kept selling out before the "local" ticket time came around. Since Colton doesn't always pronounce words correctly we all got a kick out of him calling Uncle Pete -- Uncle PEE !!! Everyone waiting on the outside porch at Olive Garden let out a chuckle when he would run around saying Uncle PEE Uncle PEE!!!--lol!! We visited Janice and Pete's church on Sunday morning and the boys walked right in to the classroom like they owned the place -- this was the first time they had ever visited a different church and I was worried how they would do( the teacher didn't look to frazzled when we picked them up so I assume they did OK--lol!!)

After we got home my dear hubby admitted that the windy roads were "getting to him" and since he didn't have an inner ear issue it must have been "not fun" for me( AAAH YA THINK DEAR!!!!), he was glad when I texted him and asked if we could go home early and not wait till morning. All the way home I kept thanking him for taking me home and not making me wait till morning when all the vacation traffic heading home would be bumper to bumper.

Our vacation on the fly wasn't as fabulous as we had wanted but it meant the world to John for me to be willing to GO as he needed the break and it meant the world to me that he was willing to LEAVE when I felt like I couldn't take traveling home in heaving traffic with intestinal distress.

Next time we will plan things better when we are BOTH feeling great and there isn't a holiday that weekend!!

An apple a day.......

WOO HOOO!!!!! I finally got an apple computer!!!! I'm so excited as I have wanted one for so many years and now my prayers have been answered!!

John and I were planning on getting a new computer for me after we moved as mine was a little over the hill and slightly running a bit faster than a turtle on a hot summers day--lol!! After a visit to the specialist John decided it would be best to go ahead and get it now. We are finally getting some answers to all the dizziness I have been having and I'll share the details once all the test are completed ( it will be another month till they are all in so don't expect it soon-lol!!), But in the mean time the doctor said that the old computer screens and tv's have a scrolling line that my eyes are picking up on and that is part of what is keeping me so unbalanced. That meant a new computer screen was in order and since I had been LUSTING over the iMAC at Best Buy for months now my wonderful hubby surprised me with getting it for me.

So this is my very first post on my dream computer!! It might take me a few weeks or months( or years to be honest--lol!!!) to figure it all out but I'm thrilled. The greatest blessing of all is that after having had such a hard financial year last year that we had the money to pay CASH for the computer. God's word has been working in all areas of our life and we are seeing the fruits of hard work and obedience coming in on every wave!!!!

I never dreamed last summer I would be at the place were we are at right now and so I owe God all the glory for what He has blessed us with. So THANK YOU FATHER FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND ARE CONTINUING TO DO!!!

Now I'm off to "play" with my new toy some more-lol!!

Blessings from above!

We are going to be grandparents AGAIN!!!!! Our daughter called to say that she and Daniel will be having baby number 2 sometime in the spring. I have always wanted a late spring baby and look forward to welcoming our newest little bundle of joy. Of course this means Nanna will have a new little one to watch when Ashton goes to work but I love babies so bring them on--lol!!

Last year when all our adult kids where having babies we were at a serious dry spell in our finances and so having grandbabies was fun but I couldn't spend any money--this time around I plan on making up for that--lol!!! Watch out Honey 'cause I'm so going shopping--lol!!!

Children are the greatest gift from God and the only one that you can return back to Him by training them to serve Him with all their heart and soul.There is beauty in receiving a gift from heaven and turning around and dedicating that gift right back to Him. It is such a privilege to be a parent no matter how your kids come to you ( birth, adoption, marriage, or foster parenting)and one I look forward to doing over and over again!

When you least expect it....

Just when you least expect it God shows up and rocks your world in such a way you can only sit back and reflect on HIS mighty love and plans that He has for you.

For months now our church has been expecting a missionary from Australia that we support. We have known about this man for over 20 years as he was a missionary with our former church many years ago and I was looking forward to hearing from him and what they are doing in Australia. Having had surgery on Tuesday of last week and then coming down with a double ear infection I knew the "opportunity" to lay down under the symptoms of not feeling well was going to be there, but I was determined to not miss church on Sunday. By Saturday I was feeling real good from the gallbladder surgery and wasn't having much discomfort but the dizzy unbalanced feeling from the ear infection made it hard to sit upright or walk very far--still I wasn't going to miss out.So I wore slacks to church in case I needed to lay down in the chairs and brought a pillow to prop up my head. At church I found a chair in the farthest corner and sat there all by myself with my head leaned against the wall so I wouldn't feel the room spin so much--lol!! I looked like I was in time out--lol!!

I sat there and listened as the missionary told of his families obedience to go where God wanted them to go and how the journey there took longer than expected but they never gave up on what God had revealed to them. That even when they took what looked like a very different path to full fill what God had for them they persevered and were steadfast that God would bring to pass all that HE wanted for them to do. He was very real in his ability to admit he failed in many ways but didn't let that defeat stop him from dusting himself of and going forward once again, and reminded us all that we are very real and not so perfect people but God still uses us and wants the best for us. It was a good service and I was thankful I hadn't stayed in bed even though I could have easily.

At the end he asked if anyone needed prayer--but stated that if you came forward he didn't want you to tell him what you needed prayer for as he was just going to pray the prayer of faith over you and it was up to you to receive what you needed from God as he wasn't the "healer" just the vessel that God was using, and if he had a word for you he wanted it to have come from the Holy Spirit and not from what you just told him you needed. Since I was sitting there dizzy all service I thought it would be a good idea to go and let him pray the prayer of faith over me as only a fool would sit there sick when someone asked if they could pray and ask God"s healing to come. So I went forward expecting just the simple prayer of faith to be prayed over me but God had other plans and I wasn't expecting what happened next....

As soon as the missionary reached out to pray for healing he stopped and asked me three simple questions than spoke a word from God to me and quoted a scripture that I had stood on for over 13 years....God revealed the exact book, chapter, and verse through this man that had NO IDEA that I had prayed that EXACT SCRIPTURE FOR SO MANY YEARS. He looked me square in the eye and said "That is the exact word from God to stand on to bring to pass what God is wanting done in your life" I was speechless and trembling with tears as I hadn't expected God to have anything to say to me--I thought I was just there to be prayed for because my ears were infected.

What this man from half way around the world said confirmed these dreams and visions that I had been having for the past three months.God knows the plans He has for you and he can bring someone from clear across the world just to remind you that He isn't done with you just yet!! For the past three months every time I have dreamed this dream I have woken up and thought that it was so weird to be dreaming this dream once again since I thought God had already full filled that dream in another manner,but God isn't done with me and John yet. I have no idea how this will come to pass and quite frankly it isn't up to me to make it happen it's just my part to be willing to receive what God has planned. On the way home from church I told John that I had gone up to be prayed for and God said something that I wasn't sure he wanted to hear( he was teaching the elementary that morning and wasn't out there), but he said he always wanted to know what God spoke to me and so I shared with him. I was very surprised at how willing he was to receive this word and some day in the near future we hope we will be able to share the exact word and the fulfillment of that word in our life.

until then know that GOD ISN'T DONE WITH YOU and the things HE PROMISED YOU ONCE HE WILL DELIVER--HIS TIMING MAY NOT BE YOUR TIMING BUT HE IS NEVER LATE!!

I'm Home!

Here is a copy of an email I sent out yesterday after I got home with a few updates about today.

Today I'm surprised about how much swelling I have--lol!! Having never had surgery before I didn't think my belly would swell so much which means I'm lounging around in my pj's for today.

I pulled a muscle getting in my bed last night so I have more pain than I should and may sleep on the couch tonight if it doesn't start feeling better soon.

The staff at the hospital was wonderful except I thought they really shoved you out the door pretty darn quick after surgery. I woke up at 2:05 from surgery and was heading out the door by 3, but being home was great and I could tell John was ready to get out of there-lol!!

The highlights--surgery was delayed because of other surgeries going on and I didn't go back until almost 1. we had cable in the room so we watched the deadliest catch which is one of our favorite shows so waiting wasn't bad but I was STARVING FOR KING CRAB BY THE TIME I LEFT--lol!!!

The gallbladder was inflamed, very diseased and not functioning, there where adhesion's attached to it with scar tissue and the surgeon said "other things" in the area was attached to it that shouldn't have been--don't know what that means but he said it REALLY REALLY was good we took it out. I'm having some pain but it's bearable--the dry mouth is bothering me though. Getting comfortable is hard but something I'm sure will pass soon.

Alisha and Baylee will spend the night so someone is here first thing in the morning with me--Annie has to go babysit over night so she won't be here.

Who knew chicken broth tasted so good--lol!!
Thank you for the prayers and I'll let you know if I need anything

Nesting.....

Not sure if it's pre-surgery jitters or feeling sympathy for a friend as she waits these final days/minutes/seconds until her travel call to say their son is ready to come home but either way my house is as clean as it gets--lol!!!

My hubby should be pleased when he arrives home to find that every stitch of laundry we own is cleaned and neatly folded and in it's proper place---that proves there are still miracles being done today-lol!! I so hate doing laundry, I'd much rather wash dishes or scrub toilets than sort and fold and put away the laundry. I think it stems from my childhood days when each of us three kids had to take turns doing the laundry.Back then my mom only did it on Saturday and we somehow always had about 13 loads on my weekend to do it. I think my brother and sister changed their clothes about every 3 hours on the weeks they knew it wasn't their turn and I got stuck staying in the house all day long sorting,washing and drying then folding,ironing( yes my mother made us iron the clothes right then and there!) and putting away everyone's stuff. It really is a wonder I didn't grow up to live in a nudest colony after that--lol!! So if you ever stop by and see 2 or 3 loads of laundry just sitting there waiting to be folded you'll know why.

I'm hoping to take the boys to the free splash park here in town after nap time and then it's back home to eat and go watch my hubby and daughters and sons-in-laws play softball. Anything to keep my mind busy today. I'm not really nervous about surgery or any pain afterwards as my surgeon promises I will not be feeling all that bad,I"m just not looking forward to being forced to take it easy and not do the things I normally do for my kids and husband. I won't be babysitting my grandkids this week and I have a feeling I'm really going to miss them. Since moving back to town we have not hardly had a day when one or more of the adult kids have been over spending the entire evening with us--our house is usually a zoo around dinner time with anywhere from just us 5 to over 11 people or more all squeezing around the dinner table. So not having them around will be a little sad and a lot of quite!!!

My mom is coming up to the hospital to "sit" with John so say a prayer for him--lol!! She is a talker and he is not and he isn't looking forward to making small talk for so long without me there to rescue him--lol!! I think he may be the one that needs the pain meds tomorrow afternoon and not me-lol!

I'll let everyone know how I am as soon as possible. John and I are believing that this will resolve all the problems that have been going on including the heart palpitations and both of us are looking forward to me returning to my perkier active self soon!!!

Surgery and God's peace!

Well the test results are back and my gallbladder needs to come out. It is functioning at only 30% and after speaking with the surgeon he feels it will only get worse and cause major health issues if left in there. When my gastro doctor called to give me the results I was so relieved, which may sound as though I lacked faith but the truth is I have been asking God for CLEAR results that would give answers to all the symptoms I have been dealing with for this past year.

Finding out my gallbladder was toast was indeed an answered prayer. I would like to say I have the mountain moving faith at this moment to just stand on the word of God and believe that the gallbladder would be healed and begin to function in perfect harmony with the rest of my body but the truth is my faith is stretched from all the sickness and issues that this past year has dealt me. So in examining my faith I know that I know allowing the surgeon to be "God's hands" in bringing health back to me is the right thing. On Tuesday of next week I will be having out patient surgery to remove the diseased gallbladder.

The surgeon who will be doing this was the most tenderhearted and compassionate doctor John and I have ever meet. John was thrilled with how detailed of an exam he did as he left no stone unturned in trying to help us determine what was the best course of action to take. My gastro doctor was leaning more towards not removing it at this time because I'm also experiencing some muscular pain in the area of my gallbladder and he didn't want us to think this would be a "cure all" for all that is going on. We could have tried to do a special diet and worked on the muscular issue first and wanted the surgeon to do a very good exam to determine if there was more gallbladder issue verses muscular issues before we decided on surgery. So John and I prayed before the exam with the surgeon that it would be clear which issue was causing the symptoms and that we would have a clear answer and God provided the answer to that prayer. Up until the surgeon visit I wasn't having much peace about what we should do or not do, but as soon as we walked in the door of the surgeons office I knew God was going to give me clear directions and so I'm THANKFUL FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!

While I am a little nervous about next Tuesday it's not because of the actual surgery as I know I'm in good hands with the surgeon. I'm actually a little nervous about being away from the boys and allowing someone else to care for them for the whole day-lol!! It seems I'm quite the over protective mother these days and am experiencing some separation anxiety at the thought of being out of it for a whole day. I have no idea what I'll do next year when they go off to kindergarten but I think I better start praying and preparing myself for that now!!! So if you think about me this week and next say a prayer for peace and comfort for me and for my boys. I won't be able to pick them up for a few days or weeks until the surgery sites are healed so we will have to adapted as I still pick them up and carry them around every now and then. ( if you are thinking they sound a little spoiled to be picked up and carried at the age of four you're right but since they are my kids I don't really care what anyone thinks--lol!!)

I have other results form test done this past week but those are for another day as I'm still trying to wrap my brain and heart around some of them and figure out where exactly I stand......... The one thing I know with every fiber of my being is that THE NAME OF JESUS IS ABOVE ALL NAMES and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!

Test update

No results yet but I want to thank anyone that took the time to pray for me during the testing process. I really felt the peace of God and know that it was not just my faith getting me through.

The good news is that I SURVIVED the HIDA scan of my gallbladder--lol!!! I am highly claustrophobic and the thought of being inside a machine with no way out was causing me a bit of anxiety to say the least. I had this test over 10 years ago and the machine used back then to pick up the nuclear medicine they inject into you reminded me of a COFFIN! I had to lay on a table after they put this dye in me and they pulled this huge HEAVY camera over my whole body and took pictures for so many minutes---well it seams that technology has come a long way in 10 years and the new machine is much different than what I remember--also the test took 2 full hours and I don't remember it being that long back in the 90's. Thankfully the camera used in today's time only covers you from the neck to thigh area and you are on a padded bed with a pillow and blanket, but they still pull it down to about 2 inches off your body so you feel this huge presence of something on top of you for the two hours. The best thing of all was that JOHN was allowed to be in there with me the whole time!!! The camera is not an x-ray so no radiation( other than what they pumped into my veins-lol!!).

They put the special nuclear dye in me and pulled the machine down then went and got John to sit next to me.Unfortunately I looked up before he got there and saw this "thing" at my chin level and was having a cow when he arrived-lol!! I truly have the best husband in the world as he stood at my side and held my hand and rubbed my arm until the panic attack left. A nurse walked by and saw him standing bent over me and got the chair they provided and slipped it under him so he wouldn't have to stand the whole 2 hours---if they hadn't have come by and the panicking feeling hadn't have left he would have stood the whole two hours!!!!

I LOVE YOU HONEY AND AM SO THANKFUL YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST!!!!!!

Other than the panic of being "trapped" the test isn't that bad except you have to lay perfectly still for 2 hours. Now being the mother of 2 very active 4 year olds the chance to lay down for two hours wasn't have bad--lol!!!! And the bonus of having my wonderful hubby there holding my hand and making small talk turned out to be a restful morning and a simi good date all things considering--lol!!

After the HIDA scan I got the heart monitor put on for the next 24 hours in hopes of having one of the "big episodes" of my heart racing super fast. As it turns out always for me no matter what I do to try and produce an 'episode' into happening I always fail.There is really no rhyme or reason as to why my heart will suddenly jump up to 145-180 beats per minute at times and therefore trying to make it happen is impossible. I did have a few minor times of increased heart rate and one moderate one but the rate was not that bad, my only hope is that the moderate one will give some answers or at least warrant me wearing the monitor for a longer period of time so that we might record a major incident.

I know that it sounds like I lack faith because I'm hoping to record a major heart episode instead of posting that I'm standing on the word of God that I NEVER have another one but the truth is I have been standing on the word for over a year now and it's time I hook my faith up to the medical world to get the answers as to why my heart has these episodes. Then I will know how to apply my faith so that it never happens again. In the word it says that EVERY NAME THAT IS NAMED SHALL BOW IT"S KNEE TO THE NAME OF JESUS and I just need that exact name to what is happening to me!It could be something as simple as my hormones being out of balance or a misfiring in the heart that could be zapped so that it never misfires again. No matter what it is I'm standing on the doctors finding the EXACT cause so that we can get on with resolving the issue instead of trying to cover it up---because covering it up isn't stopping it from "breaking" through!

I have return doctor visits scheduled for the next three weeks to get the results--sounds like an eternity to wait that long but since I have been dealing with it now for over a full year a few more weeks won't be that long!

Medical test/Prayer request

Tomorrow I'm going in for some medical test and I'm praying we will get clear answers to some of the issues I have been dealing with for the past year. In the past two months I have been having more and more irregular beats of my heart plus I began having some gastro issues on top of that,which has left me feeling somewhat of a failure in my faith walk.And if that wasn't bad enough I began having vertigo issues about three weeks ago---THANKFULLY we discovered that was being caused by fluid behind my ear drums so some over the counter decongestant and motion sickness medicine and I'll be back and walking upright in no time--PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

I fully believe in the power of the NAME OF JESUS and HIS shed Blood for me. I have stood on the word of God for many things and prayed and had answers given in times past so this year of medical issues has thrown me for a loop because it feels as though my faith isn't working. I know that I know that what the word says is true and that the word DOES WORK!! I'm still standing on Isaiah 53:4-5 which reads in the amplified bible:
Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains, yet we considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God. 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities: the chastisement peace and well being for us was upon Him and with the stripes (that wounded) Him we are healed and made whole
It is the word that sets me free from the pain and medical issues that are present in my body and since I have not been able to see a manifestation of that healing with just my faith alone I have decided to use every known thing under the sun to aid me. So while I feel like a failure in faith I know that God will work the miracle I need at whatever level my faith is at,which is why I'm so glad to go have these tests done!Bright and early John will be taking me to the hospital to have a scan done on my gallbladder and afterward I'm going to be hooked up to a heart monitor for 24 hours. I'm praying that if even the slightest thing is wrong with my gallbladder it will show up on the scan so my doctor and me can decide what to do from here. Also I have been having irregular heart beats off and on now for a full year but never when I'm at the doctor or if I have a really bad episode by the time I get to the hospital it is over so they have never been able to document one to know what is causing them so I'm praying I have one show up on the monitor. My doctor wants me to not take the meds that are suppose to stop this irregularities and to try and do anything possible to make an "attack" happen so we can get a good one or two on the monitor recording so I'm praying I have a real good one which wont be hard because things have gotten so bad that my heart will start racing in the middle of the night while sleeping and several times a day for no reason..

Getting the test results will be the first stage in knowing what to do and I believe with all my heart that God will direct the doctor with wisdom and understanding so that I can get on with my life!!

Moving again!

I don't know if I should say UGH! or PRAISE GOD! But we are going to be moving again.
Most likely it will be in the next three months as we will have the ability to buy around the first of September.

A few weeks ago our land lady called to ask about us buying the house and at the time John was very honest and told her that because of the neighbor situation he wasn't ready to say a 100% yes to buying the house, he really wanted to see if the neighbors were going to change their opinion about having kids living next to them before we committed to a HUGE mortgage. She fully understood but told us that she really needed to sell the house even though we have a two year lease agreement and she would "make things right with us".

We will get no less than a 60 day notice to move but we have decided to start looking and not wait around till the last minute. The good news is that John thinks it will be for a PERMANENT HOUSE AND NOT A RENTAL--PRAISE GOD !!!!!! The bad news is that I'm so tired of looking at houses that I have house apathy-lol!!! I'm sorta afraid that we will just take the first thing that is sorta ok just because we are both tired of thinking about what we really want and having to hunt for it,only to wake up 6 months after moving and realise we hate the place. Not to mention that I have to once again keep a house perfect and spotless for showings with 2 four year olds running around.--UGH!!! I'm so so tired of the thought of having to scramble around to get the house ready because someone is coming over to see it.....pray for me as I need it to endure this final leg to our new home.

The realtor is coming tomorrow to take pictures which means I'm trying to run around and get things organized and decluttered ( not that there is much clutter just to much for showing a house in my opinion) but that is a little bit difficult right now as I have developed some sort of vertigo and moving around makes it worse. It's pretty darn hard to clean the toilets while laying on the couch waiting for the room to stop spin--lol!!! I"m heading to the doctor after I finish this post and hope to have a better idea about what is causing all of this and will update my medical PRAISE REPORT as I'm believing to make soon.

In the mean time this is our prayer request about the "future house" we are wanting to find and buy.
No less than 3 bedrooms
an office if it's only a 3 bedroom
upstairs game room
three car garage
open floor plan
NICE NEIGHBORS!!!!
Big back yard

We have actually had the time to re-evaluate our wants and needs for a forever house and are willing to look in some neighborhoods that we once thought we didn't want to consider so that opens up more possibilities. We are also thinking of looking at some fixer uppers as long as it's in a good neighborhood. Before John was so tired of working on our Wagoner house he wanted a move in ready one and now we are thinking of finding one in need of some TLC at a great price....but move in ready is still wonderful too--lol!!

Summer Fun!

Remember the summers of your childhood when you spent all day doing things that you never let your kids do now?-lol!! It seems today that our society has forgotten how to let kids be kids, but if you give them enough time and let them be, the kids will do what comes naturally.

This afternoon we had a play date and while not everyone could stay all day some did so we let them out to play in the sprinklers just like when we were young. NO fancy splash pool, slip and slide, or anything else just water coming out of the yard sprinklers( ok I admit growing up we didn't have a sprinkler system to water the yard--heck we never watered the yard as that just made the grass grow and make us have to mow it more-lol!!) and of course when you let three boys alone in the yard with water to play till they get "caught" this is what you get.........Why is it that boys + water = head to toe mud-lol!! They had a great time and got a good mud treatment so they should all wake up with wonder smooth skin--lol!! Hope your summer is being filled with wonderful childhood memories too!

And she's off!!!

This morning at 4:30 on the dot Annie flew the coop to Mexico!!!!! She is going back for her third missions trip. They arrived in Mexico City at 10 after noon and are more than likely already in some park doing their skits to help spread the word of God.

Every time she comes home from one of the trips she is ready to step out and do what God told her to do but there always seems to be a road block that comes up and derails her drive and enthusiasm.Annie has had some struggles over the past two years and has been trying to figure out what EXACTLY God has for her, she isn't happy with just heading in a direction to "see if that is what she should do" as she wants EXACT details. So when she returns she will begin a two week course to get her CNA license as she feels lead to become a nurse. For now her plans are to get the CNA certificate and than get on at one of our local hospitals and work her way through school and jobs at the hospital. I'm very proud of all she has accomplished so far and I know this time when she returns it will be different.

If you have time and think about her please lift her up in prayers for the next week. She gets home on Thursday evening and I'm sure we will be hearing an ear full of all that went on while gone. On trips past she has had a great time sharing the love of GOD to the very young children--the kind that are filthy and no one wants to hold and love--she really has a gift in talent when it comes to young children. I know that God will use her in ways she never dreamed of with this talent as it really is a gift from Him for His service.

I had a really hard time letting her go this time. After seeing her struggle and getting so ill back in December, this over protective mother doesn't want her far from me but she really isn't mine to keep, just on LOAN FROM GOD for the season of growing up and being trained in the ways she should go so that she could be given back to the Father that sent her through me in the first place,so that HIS WILL BE DONE.

No TV!!!

I have a feeling that I'm not the only mom in America that is guilty of using the TV during the day as entertainment for the kids. Of course I say I'm only turning it on so I can grab a quick shower in the morning but when my shower is done it never gets turned off, and since it's on a "kids" station that claims it's programing is "educational" I justify letting my sons brains turn to mush as they spend countless hours watching mindless tv. But lately Colton and Braden have been driving me crazy with their short attention spans, disregard to the house rules, and wild running around and I realized the biggest reason is MY FAULT. In stead of giving them the attention they need and the guidance I should, I gave them the BIG BLACK BOX in the living room that stays turned on from the moment we wake up till we head to bed.

So today I woke up and decided enough is enough and there will be no more TV during the summer during the day. Since I'm a stay at home mom I have full control over the remote and plan on leaving it in the box on the mantle. I can not stop my hubby from turning the darn thing on once he gets home but I'm hoping he will see the improvement in the boys and decide that no TV is a good thing and keep the thing off until they go to bed!!

It's only 11 am in the morning and so far my boys have played more, used their imagination more, TALKED more ( which since they both have some speech issues is a HUGE thing), interactive more with each other and most of all been far more calmer and obeyed better than they have in a VERY LONG TIME!!!! The funny thing is that I too have been far more productive in my house hold chores which surprises me since I figured it won't really effect me that much because it was always "kid" shows blaring in the house.

I know that the greatest impact is that I will have to give MORE OF ME to the boys by correcting them when they do things that are wrong instead of ignoring them and letting go back to watching TV like I use to. It also means that when they get tired and are cranky instead of putting in a movie to let them vegetate I will actually have to teach them to calm down and give them skills for coping other than mindless watching of the tv--so my "work" as mom will increase but the truth is that is my job anyway!! I am the one that let the TV do my parenting and it is very evident in the behaviors of my kids so it's my job to undue those effects and put into them what they need to be a success in life.

I am loving the peaceful sound that the house has today!! I have found that since I"m getting old I don't tolerate background noise like I use to. All those years I longed to be a parent again and wanted the sound of kids in the house had been drowned out with the noise of the TV, now I'm fully enjoying the sounds of my sons as they play imaginary things--they really do have a great imagination and it's so cute to hear them "pretend" to be deep sea fishermen or wild animals in the jungle. The sounds of their laughter is so much better than the sound of "qubo" blaring in the background!

I hope I have the strength to keep it up as it really is so easy to turn on that darn TV when you need a few minutes of peace and quite!! It won't be easy putting back into my boys all that I should have been putting into them all along but in the end having well behaved kids that can sit still for more than two minutes will be worth all the effort! Anyone else out there ready to take the NO TV PLUNGE? I'd love to hear it if you are and willing to lend support during those trying moments when you want to go back to letting the TV keep your kids quite and entertained so you can have a few moments of peace.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR-----PART3 THE STORM!

Sorry to keep the third part from everyone for so long but I was waiting till the investigation was over. If you're wondering what INVESTIGATION it was done by DHS. It seems one of my neighbors had turned me in for "running an illegal daycare"!!!

On May 14th while finishing cleaning up and getting ready for a play date with another Mom and her kids I got a knock at the door. I thought it was Mary arriving but it was a man who introduced himself as "J" (name not revealed by me!) and he flashed a DHS badge that made my heart sink. Having been a foster mom I told myself not to panic and slam the door on him but that is what I wanted to do--lol!! He said he was here to investigate if I was running an illegal daycare and that he was with the licence department for daycare with DHS--(whew I thought it was child protective service!!).

As soon as I opened the door Colton and Braden both ran out as they were expecting their friends and I had to grab them and drag them back in. "J" took one look at the "asian kids" and asked if they were mine which I SAID YES THEY ARE!!!! We ADOPTED THEM FROM SOUTH KOREA. As soon as I said that the look on "J"'s face changed and he knew he was here on a false report. I invited him in which I think shocked him as most DHS people are not welcomed with open arms but since I had a relationship with DHS as a foster mom I knew the more helpful you are the better it is for you. I also let him know about how UNFRIENDLY this neighborhood was towards children and how I have one neighbor in particular that stands in her driveway when I have the boys outside playing with her hands on her hips and a very angry look on her face,plus she drives by slowly and gives me dirty looks anytime we are outside. I then told him about how I watch my grand babies all the time and that we have been having many play dates lately with different kids and right on that cue my friend Mary arrived with her two kids for our play date--lol!!!

"J" asked my friend if she was here for a play date and she said YES and that made "J" chuckle a little as he knew he was out on a false report but still had to follow through. I had to give out the names of all the kids that come over so he could "follow up" and I let him know we had been watching one little boy off and one while his mother prepared for surgery and would be keep him once she did have surgery and "J" let me know that was all OK and not a problem. In fact in the state of Oklahoma you can watch any child you want for up to 15 hours a week and not need a licence and you are allowed to watch your grand kids or relative kids for however long and NEVER NEED A LICENCE for that .

I told "J" that I had been thinking of doing a daycare or going back to foster care as I have been trying to figure out a way to bring in extra income and be a blessing to someone at the same time. "J" was very helpful in answering my questions as the DHS website is not always the best user friendly site for explaining some of the rules. He even laughed a little about how the neighbors would really love me if I would do that--lol!! He left a packet of info for me to look at and I have been praying about it and trying to figure out what God would have me do but haven't had peace about any of the things I have come up with on my own. ( I think God has some things in our future that I should be available to do or ready to "go" and so that is why I never have peace when I think of "tying" myself down to a job).

So yesterday all the parents who I turned in as regular play date kids got the call from DHS and confirmed everything I had said. I expect to get the report soon that will clear me of any" illegal acts of child care". The day of the investigation at my house I was pretty much numb by the whole thing but by night I was outraged which lead to me seeking out the word of God about loving thy neighbor.

I will admit that if I could have called down hell,fire and brimstone on the neighbors that first night I would have!!! After all I am a human being subject to failure and very carnal at times, so I spent most of that night laying there wide awake and praying. It was in the early morning hours that I realised all those times I had prayed to GOD to move us from Wagoner and into a neighborhood so we could be a "beacon of light" to the neighbors that God had just the place He needed us to be at. This wasn't what I thought when I was praying to move but clearly this is a "dark neighborhood" and God's light needs to shine in it. I will be faithful to be a light of love and compassion to the neighbors and pray daily to have the strength to do so. But I'm also doing everything possible to protect my kids as John and I have started keeping a photo log of all the things that break the rules of the HOA by the people that do not have kids( in this neighborhood there are only three families with kids including us and one family just put their home on the market!) If we are continued to be hassled we will contact a lawyer and file suit against the HOA for violating the fair housing act. IT states it not only is illegal to discriminate against selling or renting to people with kids but is also illegal to make it unbearable for some one with kids to live somewhere. Jesus never took the injustices of His day and age in stride but clearly addressed them head on even showing anger at times by the things being done and openly rebuked people. He didn't just "turn the other cheek" and continue to allow things to happen, He called people on the carpet about their own hypocrisy and we will to if needed.

I never would have dreamed that someone would be so low as to call DHS just to hassle someone else but really nothing in this life should surprise anyone. It is shocking and unnerving to think what our neighbors would do to try to get rid of us but we will not be driven out. I do NOT THINK FOR ONE MOMENT THAT GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH US A LESSON ON WALKING IN LOVE so let me make that clear!!! I do believe that Satan is trying hard to steal this blessing of this house from us. To many times christians blame GOD for the wrong things going on in their life saying He is "teaching me a lesson" but I serve a LOVING KIND FATHER and He would never do someting awful to me to teach me to be strong,just I would never do anything awful to my kids to teach them a lesson. John 10:10 states clearly--¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Satan is the thief trying to steal our joy over this house and place that God provided for us!! God needs us here right at this time to shine HIS love and light to those that have either forgotten what love is or have never really known the love of God. An abundant life if not one that is filled with treasures for just me and blessing for just me but one that is full of blessings and treasures that I might have more than enough to give to others also!!

Please pray for us as we walk out this part of our life--standing strong in the midst of a storm is not always easy but being faithful to what God needs you to do comes with a blessing that may not be revealed at first and once it is will be so good we will look back and say I'm glad we endured!

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR-----PART 2

In Oklahoma weather terms our reception into this new neighborhood was a typical warm front followed by a blustery cold front which was followed by a storm that popped out of no where!!

Since we moved in back in February we had not spent to much time out front with the boys. Two days into our living here we got a knock on the door from the "gate keeper" welcoming us to the neighborhood, he brought with him the quarterly newspaper that he writes for the neighborhood and a copy of the HOA covenants. We asked him about the "extra parking" in our cull de sac and if it would be a problem for our daughter Annie to park there so we didn't have to shuffle cars when we wanted to go somewhere and he told us that there are a "few" people that might want to complain about it since it was suppose to be for guest parking only but to not let that bother us. The gate keeper also went on to say that the rules are for no on street parking but that his house was so far away from the guest parking that he was never going to make any of his guest park in it and have to walk all the way back to his house then he laughed and made a comment about some people are just to much of a "stuff shirt" person but he was glad to have us in the neighborhood and stop in at his house anytime if we needed anything.

John and I chuckled about some of the rules and couldn't wait till we looked over the HOA packet just to see what all was in it. That of course is when it became clear just how much this neighborhood DIDN'T want kids in it as they had rules like:

No kids toys or things in the front yard, No swing sets, play gyms, playhouses above 6 feet in the back yard allowed,( when was the last time you saw a swing set under 6 feet tall-lol!!) no trampolines, no basketball goals allowed, no above ground pools--any in ground pool had to be approved by the architectual committee
No obnoxious noise that would be deemed as disruptive to the neighborhood and the neighborhood gets to determine what is obnoxious!(this of course means the "neighborhood can say that children playing loudly is obnoxious and disruptive")

So we laughed about it and went about our life letting Annie park in the guest parking and making sure she parked in our driveway whenever any neighbor was having a party or friends over--which NEVER HAPPENED DURING THE FIRST TWO MONTHS WE WERE HERE and no complaints by anyone.

The neighbor to the right of us would smile and wave when we saw him out but we never saw his wife, we walked the boys to the pond one night and met another neighbor across the street and they smiled and loved meeting the boys so we felt like we had been given a warm welcome considering this was a non child neighborhood. Of course the weather was always hot then cold then rainy so the boys didn't play out front and we didn't have much contact with the neighbors during the early spring until mid to late April when a clear "cold front was about to be unleashed on us!"

It started shortly after the weather got good enough for us to play outside. There was a house that always had an older man sitting outside talking to one of the neighbors next door to me and they would wave when I left and I waved and smiled back all the time but that stopped suddenly after I let the boys ride their bikes outside in the cul de sac and he noticed them. Once when taking the boys for a walk around the pond we stopped to watch the dogs playing in the back yard of people that live in the "green house" as their back yard backs to the trail that goes around the pond and the lady of the house came out and shot us a dirty look and took her dogs in. I didn't think anything of it because I figured she got tired of people standing out her back yard looking at her house---which made me think way in the world would you buy a house that backs to a trail if you didn't want anyone looking at your yard and we continued our walk. The next day I noticed they had an American flag flying on their flag pole and didn't think anything of it either.

I finally saw the neighbors wife to the right of us one day while out with the boys and smiled real big at her and waved but she just looked angry at me and turned around and went back into her house so I shrugged it off thinking maybe her hubby is the friendly one of the family. Little did I know that the cold front would only get colder the more we played in the driveway. I had play dates over and one little boy loved to ride his bike so his parents would bring his bike so the boys could ride around and be safe since this little one lived in the country and didn't have a contained area to ride and again I never thought twice about it after all I was always out there with them and if I thought they were being to loud I made them be quite or we went into the back yard to play.
Near the end of April we got our first call from the HOA president telling us we couldn't be parking in the "guest parking" and John explained that we weren't leaving a dead car in the parking just allowing our daughter to park there when it was open so we could all get out easily and the man informed us the we should clean out our garage so that we could pull our cars in and have room for Annies car on the driveway--that made us laugh because the gate keeper had told us that at one time someone in the neighborhood had petitioned the HOA to add in the rules that ALL CARS BE PARKED IN THE GARAGE and not in peoples driveways---he said some things about that which I won't post because I"m a family friendly blog--lol!! But it was funny that we got a call just as we started to let our boys play outside, and even funnier because from the day we moved in the ONLY time we ever saw anyone have someone over and use the guest parking was one car on Easter Sunday and two cars on Mothers day---the guest parking is a four car slot so Annies car never prevented anyone from parking in it. We made Annie park in the drive way for about 3 nights then seeing that NO ONE WAS USING THE GUEST PARKING we let her go back to parking there.

Little did we know the storm was about to hit.........

"LOVE THY NEIGHBOR..."

Three simple words that are so easy to do when you have lovely neighbors but sometimes the hardest thing you will ever do if you don't!

My currents scriptures that I'm having to stand firmly on these days is Leviticus 19:18 and Matthew 5:44

Leviticus 19:18
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord

Matthew 5:44
But I tell you Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you.

Just a little background to help you understand our situation. When I began to pray that we would move from our home in Wagoner my prayers involved my hearts desire to be a "beacon of light" to my community, and I hoped that I would live my life as an open bible for all the neighbors to see so that I might be able to minister the love of God to them and if any was not saved help lead them to Jesus. I would pray every day that God would open the door for us to move and that we would be a witness to our neighborhood and of course I was always asking God that the neighborhood be my beloved "Washington Lane" As I prayed I had this image of me walking the neighborhood with the boys, making friends with those that lived there, always smiling and waving at the neighbors, even having morning coffee with other stay at home moms, having play dates with the neighborhood kids, and taking young mothers under my wings and being a blessing to them by mentoring them as mature mothers had done for me all those years ago. Of course when we moved into Washington Lane I thought "YES I HAVE ARRIVED AND GOD HAS ANSWERED MY PRAYERS" after all I prayed and TOLD GOD HOW TO ANSWER THEM and it looked like He did,but as always sometime the plans God has for us are not the plans we have for our self and that became evident when our house sale fell through and we needed to find another place to live that God's plans were going to be different than my plans. God showed up and provided and you can find that story in my older post.

I was disappointed when we moved from the beloved Washington Lane as I had held firmly this image of what I thought God wanted for us, but God has other plans and following those plans comes with rewards that are greater than anything I can hope or ever think of, and so I received this new house and neighborhood with great expectation of that blessing. I love this house we are currently renting--it is beyond my dreams of a home and is a true blessing to not only us but to the woman we are renting from. When I first walked in the doors to view it I felt not only total peace but God directly giving me all the things I had asked for in a home,I'm so content in this house I forget it really isn't mine but just a rental. But we were given a warning by our landlady that the neighborhood wasn't very "child friendly" and so I have worked hard at not offending the neighbors by making sure the boys do not go on their driveways or scream to loud while outside playing. I smile and wave to all the neighbors and work hard at trying to be not only friendly but to make a friend with them after all we have a very common ground of all of us being grandparents even though I am about 15 years younger than the next oldest woman on the block.


So in the next few posts I'm going to blog about the persecution we have endured since arriving in this gated community and my need to live out the word of God to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!!

In the mean time I could use some prayers for strength and endurance as I mold into the "BEACON OF LIGHT " God needs for me to be!!

OK here is MONGO

You need to read the lower post to understand why this waiting child is being posted and "named MONGO" --lol!! And since it's late and I can't get his image to show up you will need to click on the link to see him--trust me he is adorable and can be found on the HOLT website

PLEASE PRAY FOR THESE CHILDREN AS GOD DOES KNOW WHO THEIR FOREVER MOMMIES AND DADDIES ARE SUPPOSE TO BE!! PRAY THEY FIND THEM SOON AND HAVE FAVOR FOR ALL THE ADOPTION PROCESS INCLUDING MONEY!!


ID: B09_134
DOB: November 8, 2008

B09_134.jpg (JPEG Image, 300x300 pixels)



This cute little guy was born at 38 weeks and weighed 5.5 pounds at birth. His birthmother did smoked 7 cigarettes a day and drank ½ bottle of soju a week while pregnant. In his March well baby check he weighed 19 pounds and was assessed to be at a 3 to 4 month developmental age. He does have a neurological condition known as clonus. He has symptoms in his legs and chin, but they have been diminishing in frequency. He is being treated for this condition with medication and is being monitored by a neurologist. His MRI notes that he is microcephalic and his head circumference at his March well baby check was 41.2 cm. He also shows signs of delayed myelination in his brain and possible seizures. His is described as having cute features and that he is doing well with the foster family. He is in need of a family who is able to provide him with the medical care that he needs and is open to some unknowns.

To adopt this child, couples must submit their application to Holt before the oldest spouse reaches the age of 43. Applicants must be married at least 3 years and live in one of the following states: AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, HI, IA, KS, KY, MN, MO, MS, MT, ND, NE, NJ, NM, OH, OK, OR, SC, SD, TN, TX, WADC, WV, or WY. Up to 4 children in the home. * See country criteria for complete requirements.

Meet.........Mike, Marie and Mongo!!!

Today I was looking at some waiting kids as I always do with Colton on my lap as he LOVES to look at the kids waiting for their families to find them. I often have " little moments of Mommy pride" when Colton looks at waiting children with me as his heart is as tender for those still waiting as mine is. Most of the time he will just point and ask me to bring the picture up bigger on the screen so he can see them and then he says "AHHHH he is so cute" or "Ahhh I want that one to be my "kinna sissy" (his way of saying Korean sister)". I always remind him we should pray that these kids hurry up and have their mommy and Daddy find them so they to can go home to the place God has waiting for them and that usually makes Colton stretch out his hand towards the picture and he prays his little prayer---" Father God in Jesus name help him have a Mommy and Daddy to come home to" Then he hops down and runs off as his attention is on to something else.
But today was different and when I pulled up some newly listed little ones he asked "What's that babies name?" and since there wasn't one listed I said "He doesn't have a name as he is waiting for his family to name him" So Colton responded without missing a beat "I'm going to name him MIKE!!!" I was shocked because we don't have a Mike that he plays with nor does he know any Mikes except one but never calls that person Mike as he is the daddy to one of his good friends so he refers to him as Ryans Daddy. Colton has prayed for "Mike to have a family" and I thought I would share him with you ---I feel like I can because he is listed on the HOLT website and is not password protected so the following is "MIKES" listing and you can find him at the link right above his photo.....If you feel like MIKE is your son looking back at you then Please contact HOLT INTERNATIONAL and drop me a line or post back in this posting so Colton can know that you are his new family!! After we looked at MIKE Colton asked to see two more and named them also and so below MIKE is MARIE, and MONGO( I have no idea how he came up with the name MONGO but it rolled right off his tongue the minute he saw his face.!!)

This naming of the babies really tugged at my heart as it makes the kids so real and not just some picture. I often name waiting babies just so I have a name to say as I pray for them and I guess it has started rubbing off on Colton even though I have NEVER MENTIONED I name the babies to him--I think he just has the same heart that I have with the passion for these kids to be real and have a real family!

SO HERE IS COLTONS MIKE!!!!!!!
http://www.holtintl.org/waitingchild/photolisting/images/B09_135.jpg

ID: B09_135 DOB: October 14, 2008 This adorable little boy was born full term and weighed 7.76 pounds. He was on target developmentally in his well baby check in April. Prior to birth, he was found to have meconium peritonitis which was treated surgically after birth. He has been hospitalized and treated for gastroenteritis and colitits and his condition is now being monitored. A neurosonogram in December found subependymal hematomas in his brain. However, his most recent neurosonogram in April shows no abnormalities. His birth mother did smoke cigarettes during her pregnancy and took medication for dry skin. His foster family describes him as a good looking boy who looks very bright when he moves his lips to babble. He is in need of a family who is able to provide him with the medical care that he needs. To adopt this child, couples must submit their application to Holt before the oldest spouse reaches the age of 43. Applicants must be married at least 3 years and live in one of the following states: AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, HI, IA, KS, KY, MN, MO, MS, MT, ND, NE, NJ, NM, OH, OK, OR, SC, SD, TN, TX, WADC, WV, or WY. Up to 4 children in the home. * See country criteria for complete requirements. and here is his MARIE--which Mommy thinks is so adorable and would LOVE to chat with anyone that would like to know about having a child with a teeny tiny head as Bradens head is still in the UNDER 3%

s.

ID: G09_133 DOB: August 29, 2008 This beautiful little girl was born at 40 weeks and weighed 7.65 pounds. Her birth father has Wilson’s disease and it has not been determined if she inherited the disease. She is taking seizure medication after her EEG showed left central spike discharges. Her most recent neurology report states that there is not any definite seizure activity, and that her head circumference in the in 3rd percentile at 41cm. Her March well baby check assessed her to be at a 6 month developmental level, and notes that her lower extremities are spastic. She also has been hospitalized 3 times to be treated for jaundice. This sweet little girl is in need of a family who is open to some unknowns and is able to provide her with the medical care that she may need. I can't seem to post MONGO without erasing Marie so he is going to get his own post--lol!!

The Budget

Ok since you asked here is the low down--lol!!! The budget we worked out during our financial class was a VERY GOOD SOLID WORKING BUDGET!! That is as long as we can pay ourselves, and since we are self employed that sometimes doesn't happen. In fact we only got to work with our budget for about three weeks and were seeing how EASY things were becoming when it felt like the bottom fell out of our work load and we had NO MONEY TO PAY OUR SELF for the next 3.5 weeks. By law as employers we must pay the employees which is what happened so they never felt the crunch like we the boss did. We had a few customers we did work on houses for that didn't pay at the time the work was completed--in fact one we hadn't been able to reach for almost a full 4 weeks on and were starting to think we might have to file a lien on the house to insure that payment got made. Thankfully she was only out of town and did pay us this weekend so we have MONEY!!

Living without a paycheck for 3.5 weeks was a hardship but God in His mercy was always there. we had both Easter and Bradens birthday during this time of NO INCOME plus we needed to fill Annies meds and it was for the big ones that cost $365. We did NOT DIP INTO THE $1,000 "emergency fund" during this time as John was not sure when the cash flow would be coming back in and he wanted that money for the rent if needed. What we did have to tap into was some of the money for the credit card we were planning on paying off--but we didn't use up all the money. We just took out the barest of minimum needed to get what we had to have at that exact moment and let all the bills go. Unfortunately when we went to get Annies medicine the cost JUMPED from $365 to over $400--and that is OUR PART TO PAY!! Wal-Mart told us they raised the cost of that med and in turn was PASSING THAT ALONG TO US--there is a part of me thinking they raised it because we were coming in there every month to buy it from them and figured we would keep coming back but I'm currently shopping around to find the cheapest place to pay for it at. We have contacted the maker of the medicine to see if they have a program to make this more affordable and we make about $4,000 TO MUCH TO QUALIFY FOR HELP---UGH!!!!

But there was some good news during all of this and lessons learned to take with us as we journey down that road to the land of MORE THAN ENOUGH!! So here is what I took from the past month of money famine.......

It isn't what you spend on something that makes it special...
This was our "first Easter with the grand babies" and I wanted to do Easter baskets for them with all kinds of baby gifts they could use or need as they start crawling and teething and I didn't have the money to get them A SINGLE THING, I had wanted to make a HUGE basket for both Colton and Braden and actually only spent about $5 total on each of their baskets and that included the $1.50 for the cost of the new basket since their fell apart last year, they got NO NEW CLOTHES but they looked just as sharp as the other kids that came to church in new clothes and no one even noticed it was the same ole things they have wore before. We cooked for the entire "clan" which was our 6 kids, their spouses and babies, John-Johns mother and father in law, and Ashtons grandmother in law--so that was 14 people eating and I only spent less than $20 for the entire dinner!!!
IT TURNED OUT TO BE ONE OF THE BEST EASTER DINNERS I HAVE EVER MADE and WE HAD A GREAT TIME!!!!

Since there was NO money for Bradens birthday I was sad for all about 3 days--it seemed to me that Braden has gotten the short end of the stick since coming home and I wanted to do something extra special for him.I was hoping for this huge party and a fantastic present at a "playhouse type setting" but instead did a camp out party at the house which turned out to be the greatest birthday any of my kids have every had. Most of what I did for the party cost ZERO dollars as I decorated the upstairs with greenery from the girls wedding that I had saved to make it look like woods, I made a sign that read "Welcome to camp Wala Wala Braden" as you entered the upstairs and a very dear friend brought an outdoor "screen room type tent" that we set up in the playroom for the kids to play in and I found rocking cute gifts for the guest at the DOLLAR store of all places that went with the theme so every kid that came got---a working kids lantern, a straw cup "canteen" that has a place on the bottom for snacks, a tiny toy fishing pole and three fishes to catch, and a plastic melamine bear shaped plate that we ate off of. I made a campfire log cake out of swiss rolls and fruit roll ups for the flames and the kids LOVED IT, We roasted hot dogs on the grill for food and had smores from the microwave, and instead of one giant present I got Braden a small set of Lincoln logs which he plays with for hours. On top of that one present he received was for $25 so a few days later we went and got sand for the sand box with that money and I have to pry Braden and Colton out of it every day to eat and go to bed!!Best $25 present EVER--lol!!!

It really is the fellowship and time you give to each other that you remember and not the money spent.

We are over budget in some categories!

the most notable area is the ELECTRIC BILL. We had budgeted for $180 to make sure we covered the most expensive time of the year but the last two months have only been $89!!!!! I'm so excited because this is a full two story house with two air conditioners and so many lights you can't imagine,but since we replaced almost 90% of the lights with CF bulbs our electric is LESS than any amount we had while living in Wagoner in a single story. We don't have screen on the windows here so we have to run the air conditioner on days that I would only have opened the windows. I"m really excited as even if the bill doubles during the summer months we will still be right on budget for the amount we allowed.

Also not having the money to go do full weeks worth of grocery shopping showed us just how little we can live on in that department. If you remember John thought living on only $100 a week for groceries would be to tough so we upped it to $120 per week ---well with no money we ate on about $75 or less most weeks--on one I only spent about $50 and that was because we ran out of laundry soap--we could have even spent less if we just ate out of the pantry but I needed fresh milk and eggs and didn't have a stockpile of toilet paper so that takes a huge chunk of money on those items.

I haven't spent the $50 allowed for recreation not just because we didn't have the money but because some of the items I was going to use them on aren't available--the family swim pass for one! --bummer-- I will have to buy individual passes that add up to $125 and go MORE than 8 times for that to be a savings. I'm evaluating if that is what I still want to do. Mostly because we have a sprinkler system in the back yard and the boys LOVED LOVED LOVED running through that the other day so I'm thinking we can just play in the sprinkler everyday and water the yard at the same time( the sprinkler has zones so we can just water one zone a day for 20 minutes instead of watering the whole lawn all night long every 4 days and spend the same amount for water) If I buy the pass I know I will go more than eight times but if we just go once a week for the month of June and July that will only equal the cost of the pass--we could then use our sprinklers in the yard plus we do have a zoo pass so we can go there for fun, and the sand box that is keeping them busy so far. we still plan on putting the $50 in the budget so we can have a build up of money for next year if the boys want to play t-ball again or soccer.

WHAT WE ARE STILL WORKING ON
We are still thinking about refinancing the Wagoner house to put the first and second mortgage under one mortgage--this should free up $400 in the rent money we can pocket and use towards the credit debt. We are just hanging out to see what the government is doing about the mortgages as I just heard today they were going to do something for those with second mortgages on their homes.

Still haven't written the credit reporting agencies to have our sons information removed from our credit report(He has the same name as his dad and although he has excellent credit all his debts are showing up on our report which makes us look like we are in over our heads) Doing that should improve our credit score which took a hit when some of the credit card payment came in more than 30 days late( it really sucks because we DID PAY THEM just not at the time they were due as we had NO CASH FLOW those months!)

While we would LOVE to have all the cash to just go and do all the things we want to do when we want to do them we are having a good time living without and most of all are not feeling sorry for ourselves about the whole money issues. God is our provider and the confidence in knowing HE IS ON OUR SIDE gives us the peace we need to get through this rough patch.

Long time no post!

Oh where has the time gone!! I didn't mean to be gone for so long but all these thoughts have left me almost paralyzed in writing them down! so I'm going to take a day and start the drafts on all of them and post them all at once--lol!!!

It's been great and not so great for the past few weeks--the boys are staying dry at night which means NO MORE PULL UPS!!!! Of course when Annie found out Colton wasn't in pull ups at night she had a COW!! Mostly because he sneaks in her bed around 3 every night and sleeps with her---she went on and on about him peeing in her bed and demanding I use pull ups which didn't happen----well as you can guess the THING SHE FEARED THE MOST CAME UPON HER THAT NIGHT AND HE PEED HER BED!!!! That was the first time in over 6 weeks and I truly think it was because she made such a stink about it. Colton is back to wearing his "night nights" which are rubber covered training pants but I'm going to slowly wean him back into big boy undies at night.

The not so great was medical issues showing back up which lead to a return to the doctor who's answer is to just USE MORE MEDS and not really get to the issue of why the medical issues are even happening--the meds just cover up the problem so I have decided to not use the "extra" meds he wants me to take and keep on the one med and do a diary of my daily life to see if there is an established pattern of when they seem to happen. I'm also doubling my workouts to lose weight--which in turn should help eliminate the underlying cause I hope!!

Johns on board with the workouts and did great on Saturday---both of us working together to be the best in health will make a world of difference in our children's life as they will finally get healthy parents who have the energy to keep up with them!--lol!!

I'm down 15 pounds since my known highest amount of weight!! That's a full post in itself and will be coming SOON!!

Stay tuned as there is more in the making--some will entertain, some will make you reflect and others well it's just that good ole fashion gossip about my life that everyone wants to know but is to nice to ask--lol!!