You know that old saying hind sight is 20/20 well it really is true! So is the trust in God's leading and ways and not mankind.How I wish I could turn back the hands of time and undo some decisions I made in my life but there really is nothing you can do but repent and press forward....'forgetting the things of the past and press in to the prize of high calling" that comes from serving God with all your heart mind body and soul.
Over a year ago when my faith was weak and my body doing some "freaky" things I ran to the doctor seeking answers. I was given medicine that would stop all the troubles while I worked on losing weight but it didn't happen like the doctor said it would. Instead I felt worse and then my body got worse. The sad thing was that I felt at the time He gave me the meds I shouldn't take them but work on the weight issue but FEAR from the "attacks" I was having out weighed my faith and I took the meds thinking I would just go off them when everything got better.
And now here it is over 14 months later and I"m not only better but clearly see my lack of faith over myself and how I have allowed fear to rob me of my faith. With the doctors permission I'm trying to get off the meds but it's proving far harder than I ever imagined--my body is reacting in not so fun ways and I'm having to use every once of faith I have to not let fear of what the withdrawal symptoms are doing to me take over. Some of the withdrawals are worse than anything I had before I ever took the meds!!!! I'm going to be taking it one day at a time and trust in the Lord with all my heart,mind, body and soul.
The good news is that my blood pressure has come down with the twenty pounds I have lost so I don't need this BP med any more...... I just need to get through the beta blocker withdrawals which are brutal at times.
I'm so looking forward to being 'myself' again!!!
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