Ok since you asked here is the low down--lol!!! The budget we worked out during our financial class was a VERY GOOD SOLID WORKING BUDGET!! That is as long as we can pay ourselves, and since we are self employed that sometimes doesn't happen. In fact we only got to work with our budget for about three weeks and were seeing how EASY things were becoming when it felt like the bottom fell out of our work load and we had NO MONEY TO PAY OUR SELF for the next 3.5 weeks. By law as employers we must pay the employees which is what happened so they never felt the crunch like we the boss did. We had a few customers we did work on houses for that didn't pay at the time the work was completed--in fact one we hadn't been able to reach for almost a full 4 weeks on and were starting to think we might have to file a lien on the house to insure that payment got made. Thankfully she was only out of town and did pay us this weekend so we have MONEY!!
Living without a paycheck for 3.5 weeks was a hardship but God in His mercy was always there. we had both Easter and Bradens birthday during this time of NO INCOME plus we needed to fill Annies meds and it was for the big ones that cost $365. We did NOT DIP INTO THE $1,000 "emergency fund" during this time as John was not sure when the cash flow would be coming back in and he wanted that money for the rent if needed. What we did have to tap into was some of the money for the credit card we were planning on paying off--but we didn't use up all the money. We just took out the barest of minimum needed to get what we had to have at that exact moment and let all the bills go. Unfortunately when we went to get Annies medicine the cost JUMPED from $365 to over $400--and that is OUR PART TO PAY!! Wal-Mart told us they raised the cost of that med and in turn was PASSING THAT ALONG TO US--there is a part of me thinking they raised it because we were coming in there every month to buy it from them and figured we would keep coming back but I'm currently shopping around to find the cheapest place to pay for it at. We have contacted the maker of the medicine to see if they have a program to make this more affordable and we make about $4,000 TO MUCH TO QUALIFY FOR HELP---UGH!!!!
But there was some good news during all of this and lessons learned to take with us as we journey down that road to the land of MORE THAN ENOUGH!! So here is what I took from the past month of money famine.......
It isn't what you spend on something that makes it special...
This was our "first Easter with the grand babies" and I wanted to do Easter baskets for them with all kinds of baby gifts they could use or need as they start crawling and teething and I didn't have the money to get them A SINGLE THING, I had wanted to make a HUGE basket for both Colton and Braden and actually only spent about $5 total on each of their baskets and that included the $1.50 for the cost of the new basket since their fell apart last year, they got NO NEW CLOTHES but they looked just as sharp as the other kids that came to church in new clothes and no one even noticed it was the same ole things they have wore before. We cooked for the entire "clan" which was our 6 kids, their spouses and babies, John-Johns mother and father in law, and Ashtons grandmother in law--so that was 14 people eating and I only spent less than $20 for the entire dinner!!!
IT TURNED OUT TO BE ONE OF THE BEST EASTER DINNERS I HAVE EVER MADE and WE HAD A GREAT TIME!!!!
Since there was NO money for Bradens birthday I was sad for all about 3 days--it seemed to me that Braden has gotten the short end of the stick since coming home and I wanted to do something extra special for him.I was hoping for this huge party and a fantastic present at a "playhouse type setting" but instead did a camp out party at the house which turned out to be the greatest birthday any of my kids have every had. Most of what I did for the party cost ZERO dollars as I decorated the upstairs with greenery from the girls wedding that I had saved to make it look like woods, I made a sign that read "Welcome to camp Wala Wala Braden" as you entered the upstairs and a very dear friend brought an outdoor "screen room type tent" that we set up in the playroom for the kids to play in and I found rocking cute gifts for the guest at the DOLLAR store of all places that went with the theme so every kid that came got---a working kids lantern, a straw cup "canteen" that has a place on the bottom for snacks, a tiny toy fishing pole and three fishes to catch, and a plastic melamine bear shaped plate that we ate off of. I made a campfire log cake out of swiss rolls and fruit roll ups for the flames and the kids LOVED IT, We roasted hot dogs on the grill for food and had smores from the microwave, and instead of one giant present I got Braden a small set of Lincoln logs which he plays with for hours. On top of that one present he received was for $25 so a few days later we went and got sand for the sand box with that money and I have to pry Braden and Colton out of it every day to eat and go to bed!!Best $25 present EVER--lol!!!
It really is the fellowship and time you give to each other that you remember and not the money spent.
We are over budget in some categories!
the most notable area is the ELECTRIC BILL. We had budgeted for $180 to make sure we covered the most expensive time of the year but the last two months have only been $89!!!!! I'm so excited because this is a full two story house with two air conditioners and so many lights you can't imagine,but since we replaced almost 90% of the lights with CF bulbs our electric is LESS than any amount we had while living in Wagoner in a single story. We don't have screen on the windows here so we have to run the air conditioner on days that I would only have opened the windows. I"m really excited as even if the bill doubles during the summer months we will still be right on budget for the amount we allowed.
Also not having the money to go do full weeks worth of grocery shopping showed us just how little we can live on in that department. If you remember John thought living on only $100 a week for groceries would be to tough so we upped it to $120 per week ---well with no money we ate on about $75 or less most weeks--on one I only spent about $50 and that was because we ran out of laundry soap--we could have even spent less if we just ate out of the pantry but I needed fresh milk and eggs and didn't have a stockpile of toilet paper so that takes a huge chunk of money on those items.
I haven't spent the $50 allowed for recreation not just because we didn't have the money but because some of the items I was going to use them on aren't available--the family swim pass for one! --bummer-- I will have to buy individual passes that add up to $125 and go MORE than 8 times for that to be a savings. I'm evaluating if that is what I still want to do. Mostly because we have a sprinkler system in the back yard and the boys LOVED LOVED LOVED running through that the other day so I'm thinking we can just play in the sprinkler everyday and water the yard at the same time( the sprinkler has zones so we can just water one zone a day for 20 minutes instead of watering the whole lawn all night long every 4 days and spend the same amount for water) If I buy the pass I know I will go more than eight times but if we just go once a week for the month of June and July that will only equal the cost of the pass--we could then use our sprinklers in the yard plus we do have a zoo pass so we can go there for fun, and the sand box that is keeping them busy so far. we still plan on putting the $50 in the budget so we can have a build up of money for next year if the boys want to play t-ball again or soccer.
WHAT WE ARE STILL WORKING ON
We are still thinking about refinancing the Wagoner house to put the first and second mortgage under one mortgage--this should free up $400 in the rent money we can pocket and use towards the credit debt. We are just hanging out to see what the government is doing about the mortgages as I just heard today they were going to do something for those with second mortgages on their homes.
Still haven't written the credit reporting agencies to have our sons information removed from our credit report(He has the same name as his dad and although he has excellent credit all his debts are showing up on our report which makes us look like we are in over our heads) Doing that should improve our credit score which took a hit when some of the credit card payment came in more than 30 days late( it really sucks because we DID PAY THEM just not at the time they were due as we had NO CASH FLOW those months!)
While we would LOVE to have all the cash to just go and do all the things we want to do when we want to do them we are having a good time living without and most of all are not feeling sorry for ourselves about the whole money issues. God is our provider and the confidence in knowing HE IS ON OUR SIDE gives us the peace we need to get through this rough patch.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Long time no post!
Oh where has the time gone!! I didn't mean to be gone for so long but all these thoughts have left me almost paralyzed in writing them down! so I'm going to take a day and start the drafts on all of them and post them all at once--lol!!!
It's been great and not so great for the past few weeks--the boys are staying dry at night which means NO MORE PULL UPS!!!! Of course when Annie found out Colton wasn't in pull ups at night she had a COW!! Mostly because he sneaks in her bed around 3 every night and sleeps with her---she went on and on about him peeing in her bed and demanding I use pull ups which didn't happen----well as you can guess the THING SHE FEARED THE MOST CAME UPON HER THAT NIGHT AND HE PEED HER BED!!!! That was the first time in over 6 weeks and I truly think it was because she made such a stink about it. Colton is back to wearing his "night nights" which are rubber covered training pants but I'm going to slowly wean him back into big boy undies at night.
The not so great was medical issues showing back up which lead to a return to the doctor who's answer is to just USE MORE MEDS and not really get to the issue of why the medical issues are even happening--the meds just cover up the problem so I have decided to not use the "extra" meds he wants me to take and keep on the one med and do a diary of my daily life to see if there is an established pattern of when they seem to happen. I'm also doubling my workouts to lose weight--which in turn should help eliminate the underlying cause I hope!!
Johns on board with the workouts and did great on Saturday---both of us working together to be the best in health will make a world of difference in our children's life as they will finally get healthy parents who have the energy to keep up with them!--lol!!
I'm down 15 pounds since my known highest amount of weight!! That's a full post in itself and will be coming SOON!!
Stay tuned as there is more in the making--some will entertain, some will make you reflect and others well it's just that good ole fashion gossip about my life that everyone wants to know but is to nice to ask--lol!!
It's been great and not so great for the past few weeks--the boys are staying dry at night which means NO MORE PULL UPS!!!! Of course when Annie found out Colton wasn't in pull ups at night she had a COW!! Mostly because he sneaks in her bed around 3 every night and sleeps with her---she went on and on about him peeing in her bed and demanding I use pull ups which didn't happen----well as you can guess the THING SHE FEARED THE MOST CAME UPON HER THAT NIGHT AND HE PEED HER BED!!!! That was the first time in over 6 weeks and I truly think it was because she made such a stink about it. Colton is back to wearing his "night nights" which are rubber covered training pants but I'm going to slowly wean him back into big boy undies at night.
The not so great was medical issues showing back up which lead to a return to the doctor who's answer is to just USE MORE MEDS and not really get to the issue of why the medical issues are even happening--the meds just cover up the problem so I have decided to not use the "extra" meds he wants me to take and keep on the one med and do a diary of my daily life to see if there is an established pattern of when they seem to happen. I'm also doubling my workouts to lose weight--which in turn should help eliminate the underlying cause I hope!!
Johns on board with the workouts and did great on Saturday---both of us working together to be the best in health will make a world of difference in our children's life as they will finally get healthy parents who have the energy to keep up with them!--lol!!
I'm down 15 pounds since my known highest amount of weight!! That's a full post in itself and will be coming SOON!!
Stay tuned as there is more in the making--some will entertain, some will make you reflect and others well it's just that good ole fashion gossip about my life that everyone wants to know but is to nice to ask--lol!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
DEBT COLLECTORS!!
GRHH!!! They really make my skin crawl but at the same time I feel sorry for the ones who can only find a job trying to make my life miserable!
Let me just say that I have never hidden the fact that we are in debt and that we owe huge amounts in both medical and credit card bills. The credit card bills are not from large extravagant things--no diamonds, clothes, fancy toys you don't need but just simple everyday life things that we couldn't afford but needed and so we had to charge them until John got a job going and we could pay cash again for our necessities. We do OWE for them and are doing our best to pay them off. If we went to credit counseling they would tell us to file bankruptcy as that looks like the only solution but we are being faithful and God is working!
But try and tell that to the people that start calling me at 8:01 AM every morning and don't stop until 9 at night!!! It's not the Sears card or the master card but a card that I won't name as I don't want them getting any free advertisement even if it's negative-lol!!!
There are laws about credit collection and what they can and can not do--including how often they call but many KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON DOESN'T KNOW THE LAWS and so they just do as the please. This harassment is ILLEGAL but they don't care-- they do it anyway. We have made arrangement to pay our creditors a certain amount and do so every month but because we are self employed the money isn't always there on the EXACT DAY the credit card company wants it so they start their calling that last ALL DAY LONG.
BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH so I started fighting back---see the card that is calling is NOT IN MY NAME and therefore I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT but they still ask to speak with me after they first ask for my hubby and find out he is at work. They call every morning and I tell them every morning that he leaves the house at 6:30 and returns between 5-6 every night but they still call every two hours on the hour to ask for him. SO If I say he is at work they ask for his spouse then TELL ME THEY ARE RECORDING OUR CONVERSATION and want to go on and on about how my hubby is being late every month. The MAN IS WORKING HARD AND IS PAYING THEM JUST NOT ON THE DAY THEY WANT!!! And yesterday I had enough!!!!!!! The third person that called me that day for the exact same card started in on the same ole same ole stuff and as soon as he said "THIS CALL WILL BE RECORDED" in his intimidating voice I said "GOOD AS I"M GOING TO RECORD IT ON MY END SO BOTH THE RECORDINGS MATCH" then I hit the record button on my answer machine and instead of them trying to tell me what a low life my husband was for not paying his bill they only said "OH I CAN"T ALLOW YOU TO RECORD --I"M JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHEN I CAN CALL BACK!"-- I never laughed so hard as they were scrambling to hang up and they NEVER CALLED BACK UNTIL THIS MORNING!! And you guessed it from now on I just say I'm recording them too and they HANG UP ON ME!!!
So until the card is paid off or they get the message to STOP HASSLING ME I will be answering my phone like this: "Good morning/afternoon/evening this is Anita and I hope you are having a blessed day, I'm recording all calls today and want you to know before you say anything so how can I help you today!!" I will then hit the record or even just the star button to make the bleep so if you call that is what you can expect!! Not trying to be rude just tired of being hassled all day long
Let me just say that I have never hidden the fact that we are in debt and that we owe huge amounts in both medical and credit card bills. The credit card bills are not from large extravagant things--no diamonds, clothes, fancy toys you don't need but just simple everyday life things that we couldn't afford but needed and so we had to charge them until John got a job going and we could pay cash again for our necessities. We do OWE for them and are doing our best to pay them off. If we went to credit counseling they would tell us to file bankruptcy as that looks like the only solution but we are being faithful and God is working!
But try and tell that to the people that start calling me at 8:01 AM every morning and don't stop until 9 at night!!! It's not the Sears card or the master card but a card that I won't name as I don't want them getting any free advertisement even if it's negative-lol!!!
There are laws about credit collection and what they can and can not do--including how often they call but many KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON DOESN'T KNOW THE LAWS and so they just do as the please. This harassment is ILLEGAL but they don't care-- they do it anyway. We have made arrangement to pay our creditors a certain amount and do so every month but because we are self employed the money isn't always there on the EXACT DAY the credit card company wants it so they start their calling that last ALL DAY LONG.
BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH so I started fighting back---see the card that is calling is NOT IN MY NAME and therefore I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT but they still ask to speak with me after they first ask for my hubby and find out he is at work. They call every morning and I tell them every morning that he leaves the house at 6:30 and returns between 5-6 every night but they still call every two hours on the hour to ask for him. SO If I say he is at work they ask for his spouse then TELL ME THEY ARE RECORDING OUR CONVERSATION and want to go on and on about how my hubby is being late every month. The MAN IS WORKING HARD AND IS PAYING THEM JUST NOT ON THE DAY THEY WANT!!! And yesterday I had enough!!!!!!! The third person that called me that day for the exact same card started in on the same ole same ole stuff and as soon as he said "THIS CALL WILL BE RECORDED" in his intimidating voice I said "GOOD AS I"M GOING TO RECORD IT ON MY END SO BOTH THE RECORDINGS MATCH" then I hit the record button on my answer machine and instead of them trying to tell me what a low life my husband was for not paying his bill they only said "OH I CAN"T ALLOW YOU TO RECORD --I"M JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHEN I CAN CALL BACK!"-- I never laughed so hard as they were scrambling to hang up and they NEVER CALLED BACK UNTIL THIS MORNING!! And you guessed it from now on I just say I'm recording them too and they HANG UP ON ME!!!
So until the card is paid off or they get the message to STOP HASSLING ME I will be answering my phone like this: "Good morning/afternoon/evening this is Anita and I hope you are having a blessed day, I'm recording all calls today and want you to know before you say anything so how can I help you today!!" I will then hit the record or even just the star button to make the bleep so if you call that is what you can expect!! Not trying to be rude just tired of being hassled all day long
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Heart Tugs......
NO I'm talking a physical sensation but the emotional and spiritual ones that seem to come when you least expect them and often times take your breath away. Many times we as humans feel a "heart tug" and think oh that's me just wanting something or we totally ignore it, but I believe those heart tugs are placed by God and there for a reason.
I have many heart tugs daily and I have to admit there are times I wish I could just push them to the side and forget but I know my FATHER is watching and waiting for my response. He is waiting to open the door for me but first I must take that step forward and that sometimes is the hardest step of all. God put inside of me a true heart for the parentless that goes beyond my own two sons that joined the family by adoption, but I feel so powerless on what to do with that tug. After all I'm just a simple housewife in Oklahoma with no resources to do anything for anyone yet the tugs continue. I have at times tried my best to walk away from Special needs orphans who are still waiting for someone to see them and believe in them the way I know my GOD sees them, but I can't stay gone for long as God tugs at me once again and I know I must answer that call! It isn't every "waiting child" or "every special needs orphans" that tug at my heart. I look daily at a vast amount of waiting to be found kids and the ones that I know GOD is speaking to me about are the ones that seem to look' deep in my soul' when I stare at them--some of these children only have a bio written about them and no picture yet it's like those words are been burned deep within me for a reason and I know I must do something.
So what do I do about them? First and most important I pray for that child,if I can, I print off their picture and post them on my office wall which is something I need to get back to since I have moved to a new house. I leave them up until they are matched and continue to pray for them daily. There are those that I know that I know if I could move forward with the adoption of them myself God would provide but at this time that isn't possible as my husband doesn't have the same "tug". Those are the ones that bring tears of sorrow as I see them sit day after day without a match. Many times God will prompt me to post about them on adoption forums I frequent and I have been very pleased to say that almost every single child that I have posted after God tugged on my heart to do so has been matched!! Some right away and others months later but since words posted on cyber space never disappear you never know if someone saw the post all those months later or if prayer alone helped 'seed the desire' for that child. It was the prayers of many that opened the door for our son Braden to join the family so I know prayer is a powerful tool, yet I feel there is more God is asking of me and I don't yet know what that is.
So here I am pondering about my heart tugs on this beautiful spring day. Orphans are not my only heart tug just so everyone knows. I have had a very strong heart tug to go away with my husband alone for a weekend and shower him with devotion that would blow his socks off but have yet to bring that tug to past either.There are many more tugs and I know I will get to them someday as long as I step toward them and stop pushing them back deep down. I want with all my heart to fullfill the plans God has for me and I know it is HE who is tugging at my heart today and so I will answer that tug as best I can in the only way I know how for now and pray for the ones HE has revealed to me today. They are precious and adorable and long for a mom and dad. You can find them here and if you know me well it won't take much to figure out which three have TUGGED at my heart so strong I thought it was going to burst! http://twietconfetti.blogspot.com/
It's the first time in over 4 years that I have looked at a "non asian" child and felt that passion that this could be mine and I was totally blown away by it and I have no idea what to do from here as my husband is still firm in his heart that we are done so I'm praying for direction and wisdom and pondering the tugs of my heart till direction or a family comes forward.
But I'd like to know from anyone who has taken the time to read this what are your "HEART TUGS"? How do you answer them? Do you have any regrets? I had a add to the family tug that took over 13 years to complete and I can truly say I thought I would go insane waiting for that tug to come to pass but THEY WERE WORTH THE WAIT!! I'd love to hear from you as your heart tug stories give me hope and most of all I think sharing your tugs are a way of bringing them out from that deep part they live in that is so easy to ignore when you think there is no way for them to bloom and grow. So please share but if the public forum is to much than drop me an email at amccrackin@windstreamdotnet and I'll pray your tugs come to pass!!!
I have many heart tugs daily and I have to admit there are times I wish I could just push them to the side and forget but I know my FATHER is watching and waiting for my response. He is waiting to open the door for me but first I must take that step forward and that sometimes is the hardest step of all. God put inside of me a true heart for the parentless that goes beyond my own two sons that joined the family by adoption, but I feel so powerless on what to do with that tug. After all I'm just a simple housewife in Oklahoma with no resources to do anything for anyone yet the tugs continue. I have at times tried my best to walk away from Special needs orphans who are still waiting for someone to see them and believe in them the way I know my GOD sees them, but I can't stay gone for long as God tugs at me once again and I know I must answer that call! It isn't every "waiting child" or "every special needs orphans" that tug at my heart. I look daily at a vast amount of waiting to be found kids and the ones that I know GOD is speaking to me about are the ones that seem to look' deep in my soul' when I stare at them--some of these children only have a bio written about them and no picture yet it's like those words are been burned deep within me for a reason and I know I must do something.
So what do I do about them? First and most important I pray for that child,if I can, I print off their picture and post them on my office wall which is something I need to get back to since I have moved to a new house. I leave them up until they are matched and continue to pray for them daily. There are those that I know that I know if I could move forward with the adoption of them myself God would provide but at this time that isn't possible as my husband doesn't have the same "tug". Those are the ones that bring tears of sorrow as I see them sit day after day without a match. Many times God will prompt me to post about them on adoption forums I frequent and I have been very pleased to say that almost every single child that I have posted after God tugged on my heart to do so has been matched!! Some right away and others months later but since words posted on cyber space never disappear you never know if someone saw the post all those months later or if prayer alone helped 'seed the desire' for that child. It was the prayers of many that opened the door for our son Braden to join the family so I know prayer is a powerful tool, yet I feel there is more God is asking of me and I don't yet know what that is.
So here I am pondering about my heart tugs on this beautiful spring day. Orphans are not my only heart tug just so everyone knows. I have had a very strong heart tug to go away with my husband alone for a weekend and shower him with devotion that would blow his socks off but have yet to bring that tug to past either.There are many more tugs and I know I will get to them someday as long as I step toward them and stop pushing them back deep down. I want with all my heart to fullfill the plans God has for me and I know it is HE who is tugging at my heart today and so I will answer that tug as best I can in the only way I know how for now and pray for the ones HE has revealed to me today. They are precious and adorable and long for a mom and dad. You can find them here and if you know me well it won't take much to figure out which three have TUGGED at my heart so strong I thought it was going to burst! http://twietconfetti.blogspot.com/
It's the first time in over 4 years that I have looked at a "non asian" child and felt that passion that this could be mine and I was totally blown away by it and I have no idea what to do from here as my husband is still firm in his heart that we are done so I'm praying for direction and wisdom and pondering the tugs of my heart till direction or a family comes forward.
But I'd like to know from anyone who has taken the time to read this what are your "HEART TUGS"? How do you answer them? Do you have any regrets? I had a add to the family tug that took over 13 years to complete and I can truly say I thought I would go insane waiting for that tug to come to pass but THEY WERE WORTH THE WAIT!! I'd love to hear from you as your heart tug stories give me hope and most of all I think sharing your tugs are a way of bringing them out from that deep part they live in that is so easy to ignore when you think there is no way for them to bloom and grow. So please share but if the public forum is to much than drop me an email at amccrackin@windstreamdotnet and I'll pray your tugs come to pass!!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
March Madness--Okie style!!
Look what we did today!
Colton having a blast making after helping to make the snowthing--to unfinished to call it a snowman-lol!
Burying the trains!
Braden not to thrilled about standing next to the snowman!He really wanted to go back to cleaning the snow off of things--lol!
Braden having a good time cleaning the snow off Daddy's truck!!
And you thought it was going to be about basketball--lol!!!
Nope the freakish 8 inch spring snow lead to a day of fun for the boys! Colton could have lived outside if I had let him. I only wish I had the camera ready when he ran out and dove head first into the snow and started to roll around--he was truly in hog heaven!!
Braden on the other hand stopped at the front porch and gave me the look that meant "Mom do I have to go get wet and dirty!" that boy is just like his mommy and don't like the cold one bit!!!
Colton having a blast making after helping to make the snowthing--to unfinished to call it a snowman-lol!
Burying the trains!
Braden not to thrilled about standing next to the snowman!He really wanted to go back to cleaning the snow off of things--lol!
Braden having a good time cleaning the snow off Daddy's truck!!
And you thought it was going to be about basketball--lol!!!Nope the freakish 8 inch spring snow lead to a day of fun for the boys! Colton could have lived outside if I had let him. I only wish I had the camera ready when he ran out and dove head first into the snow and started to roll around--he was truly in hog heaven!!
Braden on the other hand stopped at the front porch and gave me the look that meant "Mom do I have to go get wet and dirty!" that boy is just like his mommy and don't like the cold one bit!!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Travel--First stop Houston!
Sorry to take so long to get back to writing down my thoughts feelings and hopes but it's been a busy two weeks and much is going on. I have more posts to complete including our final two lessons on debt relief which are good and now the part of being still and trusting in the Lord takes over.
During our 25 years of marriage John has done some traveling for jobs here and there. Sometimes it's one little job and other times it's many jobs back to back. The traveling jobs tend to come when we need the money the most as they are the greatest profits when you only account for money. But there are other things to consider when it comes to travel than just the high profits and that's the time spent apart and how that effects both the marriage and the kids. For the past 25 years when he did travel I stayed home with the kids and the impact was felt by both them and me. Being a single parent is NOT MY CUP OF TEA!!! ( just ask the kids--lol!!) Plus there is the whole disconnection between John and I that happens no matter how hard you try to stop it. Be gone long enough and the house no longer is "our house" but becomes " my and the kids house" and John begins to feel like a guest in his own house when he would come home for a "visit". You really can't stop that, after all life at home continues to move forward and the one gone is left out of the loop even if you call and tell every single detail of the day to each other.We are HIGHLY a wear of that and take measures to overcome it once it rears it's ugly head. Working on staying connected while being apart is truly the hardest job in the world, and blending back into a "twosome" after spending weeks and months as a "one some" takes dedication and patience that many sadly eventually no longer wish to invest in.
So all that being said you might wonder why I'm really really excited about the changes that are taking place and the first of what I can see will be many travel job opportunities coming our way. WELL LET ME SHARE WITH YOU A REVELATION JOHN AND I HAD PLUS A VISION GOD GAVE ME 3 YEARS AGO!!
The last major "travel" job John did before we adopted took place during our oldest sons senior year. All the "ugly" of being apart seemed to be magnified by the "senioritis" that all my kids have experienced during senior year. "Senioritis" is the term I use for the awful attitude that appears during senior year when my kids all believe they have "arrived" and are now adults fully capable of making ANY AND ALL decisions for themself combined with an attitude that we parents are STUPID AND DON"T KNOW A THING. Of course they are "almost a full adult" and are capable of making MANY decisions for themselves but they still need that final guidance in their life to help lead them or keep them on the path God has for them. The thing about senioritis is that it fully goes away about 6 months after they graduate from high school and they begin to lead the life of an adult and realise that mom and dad weren't so stupid after all and most of the stuff they said about finances,jobs, school and relationships are REALLY INDEED TRUE--lol!!! So John being gone during our first experience of senioritis was very hard on my as I'm not cut out to be a single parent. After about 4 months of living apart while he worked in Arkansas we came to the conclusion that the money wasn't worth the toll on our marriage. I also came to the conclusion that our staying home while John lived in another state was not the plan GOD had ever intended. See in the word of God you always see that when God "calls a man" to another place or higher level for something the man BRINGS THE WIFE AND KIDS WITH HIM! God made children portable for a reason!! It's us that thinks a child needs to be rooted in one place only and US that says the child comes BEFORE THE FAMILY UNIT. The reality is the relationship chain should link as follows --FIRST THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP TO THE FATHER GOD--Than THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE--THAN THE CHILDREN ARE FRUITS OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunately children tend to placed before the marriage and many a wife and husband find themself lost once the kids are gone and they don't know how to function without dedicating their entire time and energy to the kids. So I decide that no more would I ever let myself not be at my husbands side--from here on out the kids and I would go with. For John the difficulties of those four months were such that he chose to NEVER GO OUT OF TOWN AGAIN. That was over 6 years ago and he has steadily turned down some very profitable jobs as he didn't want to live apart and Braden needed the stability of having two parents around as he opened up and began to trust and attach.But God is moving on our behalf and the time has come to take the steps towards not only the call but the vision God revealed about us over 4 years ago.
Before we ever boarded the plane to get Colton I knew deep in my heart that we would be adopting again but John was firm that Colton was it. Once in Korea God firmly planted the seed for another child and I knew beyond a doubt that we would be missing something in our life if we didn't fulfill that seed. So soon after we arrived home I began to pray and ask God to reveal Himself and the direction He had for us as a couple. I got one little phrase to go with the seed for another child and that was "home base". I didn't fully understand that but prayed in earnest for more revelation and realised that "home base" was literally the house we would live in and I KNEW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THE HOUSE IN WAGONER WASN"T IT!!!So the seed for moving was planted but the seed for adoption became much stronger and I focused on that in my prayer life. Then in May of 2006 I began to pray in earnest concerning a certain "waiting child" to be matched with a family(not thinking at the time it was US!) and also for the opening of Johns heart to adopt again and one night God gave me a vision that to this day is as vivid as if I was living it right now. I saw myself and two asian boys that were about the same age getting on an airplane to go meet John in Florida, he was there working a job that was going to be 6-8 weeks long and had been there already for 3 weeks. The boys were right around the age for early school years and I couldn't tell if it was age 5 for kindergarten or age 6 for first grade but they were both boys and one was Colton. We stayed at a rented bungalow near a beach and was there for 3 weeks when we needed to return to Oklahoma for some obligation that involved me. In the vision I had a feeling that John and I were also thinking about or fully waiting for a "girl" and I knew this wasn't the first time I had joined him with the "boys" on an out of town job. As John took us back to the airport I remember John and I talking about what we would do if the job went longer than 2 weeks which is what should have been left on the job and it was a normal conversation--one we had had many times already. An interesting note as that I knew the "girl" we were waiting for wasn't KOREAN like the two boys-- even though I couldn't see the face of the other boy I knew he was Korean like Colton. The vision continued only it was at a different time of the year since the scene from Florida was during the summer months. The next scene was during the fall and I saw myself packing my red car full of household supplies and clothes for several months and heading out to the eastern side of the U.S. to join John on a job he had begun. I knew we were heading to somewhere near New York city and the "kids" and I were going to take a week of sightseeing to get there.I also packed school work as I was going to home school the kids during the 3-4 month time we would be away so I assumed they were older than what they were in the Florida scene. I also knew there was another child but I couldn't see who or what it was just that this child didn't need homework and I wasn't bringing baby stuff. The scene ended when I arrived at the place John was and found out we would be living in the heart of a big city in a high rise apartment and I saw we had brought our dog with us. There were two more scenes in the vision one was me and boys arriving home after one of our trips to be with John and having them run up stairs to their room while I flipped through the mail--I could tell the house had "neutral colored walls" and there was peace when we entered the house, but that truly the "coming and going" was actually our real home and this was just our place of refreshing. There wasn't this I'm so glad to be done with that trip attitude and ready to get back to my "real life"--this was our "base of refreshment" but our home was wherever we happened to be at that moment. The last vision was of John and I in our church--I heard what was at the time just our Pastors son say from the pulpit that it was good to have John and Anita home for the next few weeks as we had a church project to get done. The pastors son is now the pastor of the church and so now it makes sense to me why he was on the platform.I knew in this scene that John and I came and went from this place--sometime we were gone for long periods of time and other times we were in Oklahoma for long periods of time but that we were never again fully rooted and staying here forever. The church and the house we lived in was our "home base" and we came and went as God directed. I knew there were times the kids and I were at the church without John as he was away on a job but that if it lasted more than 3 weeks than the kids and I went to him instead of staying here the whole time he was gone. I also knew that some times we went with him for the whole time of a job and other times we joined him off and on but that God used us in ministry and in construction in this type of a lifestyle. And then I just woke up from the vision. Colton was only home for 5 months and was 17 months old at the time I had seen all this.
It's been almost 3 years since that vision and later next week John leaves to go look at a job in HOUSTON--he almost didn't tell me about the job opportunity but once he did I think I shocked him at how excited I was!! I know that this is the beginning of that next phase for us that we will travel --some years a lot and some years not at all but we will do both work and ministry when we go, I have this strong since that the pull for Special Needs orphans will combine with the construction knowledge John has and God will open doors for us to share our heart for the ones "not yet chosen"!!!
I told John I have "friends in Houston" so Suzy if you are reading this we might be coming to Texas in the next month!!!! The fact is I spend so much time on the Internet on adoption sites and forum that the boys and I will not lack for fellowship as I know of plenty adoptive moms around the US and I look forward to seeing some of you in the future face to face as God brings the visions to pass!!!
During our 25 years of marriage John has done some traveling for jobs here and there. Sometimes it's one little job and other times it's many jobs back to back. The traveling jobs tend to come when we need the money the most as they are the greatest profits when you only account for money. But there are other things to consider when it comes to travel than just the high profits and that's the time spent apart and how that effects both the marriage and the kids. For the past 25 years when he did travel I stayed home with the kids and the impact was felt by both them and me. Being a single parent is NOT MY CUP OF TEA!!! ( just ask the kids--lol!!) Plus there is the whole disconnection between John and I that happens no matter how hard you try to stop it. Be gone long enough and the house no longer is "our house" but becomes " my and the kids house" and John begins to feel like a guest in his own house when he would come home for a "visit". You really can't stop that, after all life at home continues to move forward and the one gone is left out of the loop even if you call and tell every single detail of the day to each other.We are HIGHLY a wear of that and take measures to overcome it once it rears it's ugly head. Working on staying connected while being apart is truly the hardest job in the world, and blending back into a "twosome" after spending weeks and months as a "one some" takes dedication and patience that many sadly eventually no longer wish to invest in.
So all that being said you might wonder why I'm really really excited about the changes that are taking place and the first of what I can see will be many travel job opportunities coming our way. WELL LET ME SHARE WITH YOU A REVELATION JOHN AND I HAD PLUS A VISION GOD GAVE ME 3 YEARS AGO!!
The last major "travel" job John did before we adopted took place during our oldest sons senior year. All the "ugly" of being apart seemed to be magnified by the "senioritis" that all my kids have experienced during senior year. "Senioritis" is the term I use for the awful attitude that appears during senior year when my kids all believe they have "arrived" and are now adults fully capable of making ANY AND ALL decisions for themself combined with an attitude that we parents are STUPID AND DON"T KNOW A THING. Of course they are "almost a full adult" and are capable of making MANY decisions for themselves but they still need that final guidance in their life to help lead them or keep them on the path God has for them. The thing about senioritis is that it fully goes away about 6 months after they graduate from high school and they begin to lead the life of an adult and realise that mom and dad weren't so stupid after all and most of the stuff they said about finances,jobs, school and relationships are REALLY INDEED TRUE--lol!!! So John being gone during our first experience of senioritis was very hard on my as I'm not cut out to be a single parent. After about 4 months of living apart while he worked in Arkansas we came to the conclusion that the money wasn't worth the toll on our marriage. I also came to the conclusion that our staying home while John lived in another state was not the plan GOD had ever intended. See in the word of God you always see that when God "calls a man" to another place or higher level for something the man BRINGS THE WIFE AND KIDS WITH HIM! God made children portable for a reason!! It's us that thinks a child needs to be rooted in one place only and US that says the child comes BEFORE THE FAMILY UNIT. The reality is the relationship chain should link as follows --FIRST THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP TO THE FATHER GOD--Than THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE--THAN THE CHILDREN ARE FRUITS OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunately children tend to placed before the marriage and many a wife and husband find themself lost once the kids are gone and they don't know how to function without dedicating their entire time and energy to the kids. So I decide that no more would I ever let myself not be at my husbands side--from here on out the kids and I would go with. For John the difficulties of those four months were such that he chose to NEVER GO OUT OF TOWN AGAIN. That was over 6 years ago and he has steadily turned down some very profitable jobs as he didn't want to live apart and Braden needed the stability of having two parents around as he opened up and began to trust and attach.But God is moving on our behalf and the time has come to take the steps towards not only the call but the vision God revealed about us over 4 years ago.
Before we ever boarded the plane to get Colton I knew deep in my heart that we would be adopting again but John was firm that Colton was it. Once in Korea God firmly planted the seed for another child and I knew beyond a doubt that we would be missing something in our life if we didn't fulfill that seed. So soon after we arrived home I began to pray and ask God to reveal Himself and the direction He had for us as a couple. I got one little phrase to go with the seed for another child and that was "home base". I didn't fully understand that but prayed in earnest for more revelation and realised that "home base" was literally the house we would live in and I KNEW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THE HOUSE IN WAGONER WASN"T IT!!!So the seed for moving was planted but the seed for adoption became much stronger and I focused on that in my prayer life. Then in May of 2006 I began to pray in earnest concerning a certain "waiting child" to be matched with a family(not thinking at the time it was US!) and also for the opening of Johns heart to adopt again and one night God gave me a vision that to this day is as vivid as if I was living it right now. I saw myself and two asian boys that were about the same age getting on an airplane to go meet John in Florida, he was there working a job that was going to be 6-8 weeks long and had been there already for 3 weeks. The boys were right around the age for early school years and I couldn't tell if it was age 5 for kindergarten or age 6 for first grade but they were both boys and one was Colton. We stayed at a rented bungalow near a beach and was there for 3 weeks when we needed to return to Oklahoma for some obligation that involved me. In the vision I had a feeling that John and I were also thinking about or fully waiting for a "girl" and I knew this wasn't the first time I had joined him with the "boys" on an out of town job. As John took us back to the airport I remember John and I talking about what we would do if the job went longer than 2 weeks which is what should have been left on the job and it was a normal conversation--one we had had many times already. An interesting note as that I knew the "girl" we were waiting for wasn't KOREAN like the two boys-- even though I couldn't see the face of the other boy I knew he was Korean like Colton. The vision continued only it was at a different time of the year since the scene from Florida was during the summer months. The next scene was during the fall and I saw myself packing my red car full of household supplies and clothes for several months and heading out to the eastern side of the U.S. to join John on a job he had begun. I knew we were heading to somewhere near New York city and the "kids" and I were going to take a week of sightseeing to get there.I also packed school work as I was going to home school the kids during the 3-4 month time we would be away so I assumed they were older than what they were in the Florida scene. I also knew there was another child but I couldn't see who or what it was just that this child didn't need homework and I wasn't bringing baby stuff. The scene ended when I arrived at the place John was and found out we would be living in the heart of a big city in a high rise apartment and I saw we had brought our dog with us. There were two more scenes in the vision one was me and boys arriving home after one of our trips to be with John and having them run up stairs to their room while I flipped through the mail--I could tell the house had "neutral colored walls" and there was peace when we entered the house, but that truly the "coming and going" was actually our real home and this was just our place of refreshing. There wasn't this I'm so glad to be done with that trip attitude and ready to get back to my "real life"--this was our "base of refreshment" but our home was wherever we happened to be at that moment. The last vision was of John and I in our church--I heard what was at the time just our Pastors son say from the pulpit that it was good to have John and Anita home for the next few weeks as we had a church project to get done. The pastors son is now the pastor of the church and so now it makes sense to me why he was on the platform.I knew in this scene that John and I came and went from this place--sometime we were gone for long periods of time and other times we were in Oklahoma for long periods of time but that we were never again fully rooted and staying here forever. The church and the house we lived in was our "home base" and we came and went as God directed. I knew there were times the kids and I were at the church without John as he was away on a job but that if it lasted more than 3 weeks than the kids and I went to him instead of staying here the whole time he was gone. I also knew that some times we went with him for the whole time of a job and other times we joined him off and on but that God used us in ministry and in construction in this type of a lifestyle. And then I just woke up from the vision. Colton was only home for 5 months and was 17 months old at the time I had seen all this.
It's been almost 3 years since that vision and later next week John leaves to go look at a job in HOUSTON--he almost didn't tell me about the job opportunity but once he did I think I shocked him at how excited I was!! I know that this is the beginning of that next phase for us that we will travel --some years a lot and some years not at all but we will do both work and ministry when we go, I have this strong since that the pull for Special Needs orphans will combine with the construction knowledge John has and God will open doors for us to share our heart for the ones "not yet chosen"!!!
I told John I have "friends in Houston" so Suzy if you are reading this we might be coming to Texas in the next month!!!! The fact is I spend so much time on the Internet on adoption sites and forum that the boys and I will not lack for fellowship as I know of plenty adoptive moms around the US and I look forward to seeing some of you in the future face to face as God brings the visions to pass!!!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
HUSBAND FUNNY!
I can't resist sharing a super funny to me story that happened between John and I recently. First I should give a tiny bit of background for those who may not know this about me. Something dropped into my heart about the time we decided that adoption was the way we were going to add to our family over 4 years ago. God seems to have pointed and planned all things that have happened in my life for this very drive I now have that at times feels like it is consuming me. I have a deep set passion for orphans and in particular Special Needs orphans. Even prior to the adoption of Colton and Braden my motto in life was and STILL IS THERE IS ROOM AT THE TABLE FOR JUST ONE MORE!!! I daily look and hope to find homes for waiting kids from several of my favorite waiting child listings. My husband does not at this time share the desire to add any more kids to the family but listens to me talk daily about any new updates on my "favorite kids"( I give them all names since they only have numbers next to their photos or bios) so keeping that in mind here is a conversation that took place during the first week of our debt reduction class.....
I was sitting in the office on the computer when John gets home from work and comes in to see what I was up to and ask whats for supper--Annie soon followed and entered after our conversation had began.
ME sitting at the computer: Honey I read over the pages of the debt class since I couldn't go with you on Sunday and I'm so excited to get started.
John: Yea the class was pretty much word for word from the pages so you didn't really miss out on much
Me: Yea it looks like we are in better shape than I first thought since we already have our "BABY FUND" in the bank
John: We don't have a baby fund honey( looking very confused at me while saying it)
Annie: WHAT BABY FUND- WE AREN'T GETTING ANOTHER BABY!.
Me: Yes we do to have a "baby fund" ( being very INSISTENT THAT WE DO!)
Annie : Dad tell Mom WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BABY!! You guys aren't getting another baby, Tell her Dad!!!
John: WE DON"T HAVE ANY BABY FUND( his eyes starting to bulge out)We aren't adopting Annie
Me:I Know THAT but we DO HAVE A" BABY FUND"--even the papers says we should start out with a "baby fund" in case of an emergency ( I realise at this point he doesn't remember the debt class says to start an emergency fund with only $1,000 and work towards saving the full 3-6 months worth of emergency fund money--the $1,000 is called the "baby fund" since it isn't fully funded yet, and so I have a little fun with John and Annie)
John: But we don't have a BABY FUND
Me: but they told you in class to be prepared as you never know when anything is going to happen so we need a "baby fund"
Annie: WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BABY!
Me : remember we talked about it and we were going to save some tax money for this purpose.
John: (looking like he is raking his brain trying desperately to remember if we talked about an "adoption fund" and he doesn't remember)
Annie: What country are you talking about? You really aren't getting another baby -is it china or another Korean baby?( panic is setting in on her voice now!)
John: Honey there is NO MONEY and we didn't talk about a baby fund
Me: you didn't spend it did you? the tax money is still in the bank right--we still have a $1,000 for the baby fund?
John: NO I didn't spend it( really looking distressed at this time and slightly ashen too-lol!!!)
Me: THAN WE DO TO HAVE A BABY FUND and we are already ahead of the game and ready to move to the next level
John: THERE IS NO BABY FUND HONEY!!
Me:( not being able to hold the laughter back from the distress that John and Annie are having) IF we still have the $1,000 in the bank than that's our "baby fund" Even Ben( the man running the debt class and dear friend for over 20 years) recommends we have one as you never know when there is a surprise emergency and we should be prepared so we don't go into debt over it, and we said we were going to have a baby fund
John--shakes his head NO<>
Annie: DAD!!( she is gasping now as she thinks her dad and I have talked about having a fund for another adoption or sibling call)
John: I don't remember ever agreeing to a baby fund we ARE NOT ADOPTING!
Me: (Can't contain the laughter any more and have to let them off the hook!)I KNOW THAT! I have been talking about the "baby emergency fund" Ben talks about --it's called the baby fund because it is only $1,000 and not the full 3-6 months of living expense and we DO HAVE IT RIGHT?!
John: (weak from thinking we were talking about adoption and he had somehow been snared into starting an adoption fund) Yea we got that, I need to go lay down
Me; falling off my chair laughing and Praying silently to God--Did you see how fast he thought I was talking about a baby God, maybe another kid is more on his mind than he is willing to admit! I know when it's time you can move his heart and make it happen so I'm not worried!
I was sitting in the office on the computer when John gets home from work and comes in to see what I was up to and ask whats for supper--Annie soon followed and entered after our conversation had began.
ME sitting at the computer: Honey I read over the pages of the debt class since I couldn't go with you on Sunday and I'm so excited to get started.
John: Yea the class was pretty much word for word from the pages so you didn't really miss out on much
Me: Yea it looks like we are in better shape than I first thought since we already have our "BABY FUND" in the bank
John: We don't have a baby fund honey( looking very confused at me while saying it)
Annie: WHAT BABY FUND- WE AREN'T GETTING ANOTHER BABY!.
Me: Yes we do to have a "baby fund" ( being very INSISTENT THAT WE DO!)
Annie : Dad tell Mom WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BABY!! You guys aren't getting another baby, Tell her Dad!!!
John: WE DON"T HAVE ANY BABY FUND( his eyes starting to bulge out)We aren't adopting Annie
Me:I Know THAT but we DO HAVE A" BABY FUND"--even the papers says we should start out with a "baby fund" in case of an emergency ( I realise at this point he doesn't remember the debt class says to start an emergency fund with only $1,000 and work towards saving the full 3-6 months worth of emergency fund money--the $1,000 is called the "baby fund" since it isn't fully funded yet, and so I have a little fun with John and Annie)
John: But we don't have a BABY FUND
Me: but they told you in class to be prepared as you never know when anything is going to happen so we need a "baby fund"
Annie: WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BABY!
Me : remember we talked about it and we were going to save some tax money for this purpose.
John: (looking like he is raking his brain trying desperately to remember if we talked about an "adoption fund" and he doesn't remember)
Annie: What country are you talking about? You really aren't getting another baby -is it china or another Korean baby?( panic is setting in on her voice now!)
John: Honey there is NO MONEY and we didn't talk about a baby fund
Me: you didn't spend it did you? the tax money is still in the bank right--we still have a $1,000 for the baby fund?
John: NO I didn't spend it( really looking distressed at this time and slightly ashen too-lol!!!)
Me: THAN WE DO TO HAVE A BABY FUND and we are already ahead of the game and ready to move to the next level
John: THERE IS NO BABY FUND HONEY!!
Me:( not being able to hold the laughter back from the distress that John and Annie are having) IF we still have the $1,000 in the bank than that's our "baby fund" Even Ben( the man running the debt class and dear friend for over 20 years) recommends we have one as you never know when there is a surprise emergency and we should be prepared so we don't go into debt over it, and we said we were going to have a baby fund
John--shakes his head NO<>
Annie: DAD!!( she is gasping now as she thinks her dad and I have talked about having a fund for another adoption or sibling call)
John: I don't remember ever agreeing to a baby fund we ARE NOT ADOPTING!
Me: (Can't contain the laughter any more and have to let them off the hook!)I KNOW THAT! I have been talking about the "baby emergency fund" Ben talks about --it's called the baby fund because it is only $1,000 and not the full 3-6 months of living expense and we DO HAVE IT RIGHT?!
John: (weak from thinking we were talking about adoption and he had somehow been snared into starting an adoption fund) Yea we got that, I need to go lay down
Me; falling off my chair laughing and Praying silently to God--Did you see how fast he thought I was talking about a baby God, maybe another kid is more on his mind than he is willing to admit! I know when it's time you can move his heart and make it happen so I'm not worried!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)