Sorry to take so long to get back to writing down my thoughts feelings and hopes but it's been a busy two weeks and much is going on. I have more posts to complete including our final two lessons on debt relief which are good and now the part of being still and trusting in the Lord takes over.
During our 25 years of marriage John has done some traveling for jobs here and there. Sometimes it's one little job and other times it's many jobs back to back. The traveling jobs tend to come when we need the money the most as they are the greatest profits when you only account for money. But there are other things to consider when it comes to travel than just the high profits and that's the time spent apart and how that effects both the marriage and the kids. For the past 25 years when he did travel I stayed home with the kids and the impact was felt by both them and me. Being a single parent is NOT MY CUP OF TEA!!! ( just ask the kids--lol!!) Plus there is the whole disconnection between John and I that happens no matter how hard you try to stop it. Be gone long enough and the house no longer is "our house" but becomes " my and the kids house" and John begins to feel like a guest in his own house when he would come home for a "visit". You really can't stop that, after all life at home continues to move forward and the one gone is left out of the loop even if you call and tell every single detail of the day to each other.We are HIGHLY a wear of that and take measures to overcome it once it rears it's ugly head. Working on staying connected while being apart is truly the hardest job in the world, and blending back into a "twosome" after spending weeks and months as a "one some" takes dedication and patience that many sadly eventually no longer wish to invest in.
So all that being said you might wonder why I'm really really excited about the changes that are taking place and the first of what I can see will be many travel job opportunities coming our way. WELL LET ME SHARE WITH YOU A REVELATION JOHN AND I HAD PLUS A VISION GOD GAVE ME 3 YEARS AGO!!
The last major "travel" job John did before we adopted took place during our oldest sons senior year. All the "ugly" of being apart seemed to be magnified by the "senioritis" that all my kids have experienced during senior year. "Senioritis" is the term I use for the awful attitude that appears during senior year when my kids all believe they have "arrived" and are now adults fully capable of making ANY AND ALL decisions for themself combined with an attitude that we parents are STUPID AND DON"T KNOW A THING. Of course they are "almost a full adult" and are capable of making MANY decisions for themselves but they still need that final guidance in their life to help lead them or keep them on the path God has for them. The thing about senioritis is that it fully goes away about 6 months after they graduate from high school and they begin to lead the life of an adult and realise that mom and dad weren't so stupid after all and most of the stuff they said about finances,jobs, school and relationships are REALLY INDEED TRUE--lol!!! So John being gone during our first experience of senioritis was very hard on my as I'm not cut out to be a single parent. After about 4 months of living apart while he worked in Arkansas we came to the conclusion that the money wasn't worth the toll on our marriage. I also came to the conclusion that our staying home while John lived in another state was not the plan GOD had ever intended. See in the word of God you always see that when God "calls a man" to another place or higher level for something the man BRINGS THE WIFE AND KIDS WITH HIM! God made children portable for a reason!! It's us that thinks a child needs to be rooted in one place only and US that says the child comes BEFORE THE FAMILY UNIT. The reality is the relationship chain should link as follows --FIRST THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP TO THE FATHER GOD--Than THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE--THAN THE CHILDREN ARE FRUITS OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunately children tend to placed before the marriage and many a wife and husband find themself lost once the kids are gone and they don't know how to function without dedicating their entire time and energy to the kids. So I decide that no more would I ever let myself not be at my husbands side--from here on out the kids and I would go with. For John the difficulties of those four months were such that he chose to NEVER GO OUT OF TOWN AGAIN. That was over 6 years ago and he has steadily turned down some very profitable jobs as he didn't want to live apart and Braden needed the stability of having two parents around as he opened up and began to trust and attach.But God is moving on our behalf and the time has come to take the steps towards not only the call but the vision God revealed about us over 4 years ago.
Before we ever boarded the plane to get Colton I knew deep in my heart that we would be adopting again but John was firm that Colton was it. Once in Korea God firmly planted the seed for another child and I knew beyond a doubt that we would be missing something in our life if we didn't fulfill that seed. So soon after we arrived home I began to pray and ask God to reveal Himself and the direction He had for us as a couple. I got one little phrase to go with the seed for another child and that was "home base". I didn't fully understand that but prayed in earnest for more revelation and realised that "home base" was literally the house we would live in and I KNEW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THE HOUSE IN WAGONER WASN"T IT!!!So the seed for moving was planted but the seed for adoption became much stronger and I focused on that in my prayer life. Then in May of 2006 I began to pray in earnest concerning a certain "waiting child" to be matched with a family(not thinking at the time it was US!) and also for the opening of Johns heart to adopt again and one night God gave me a vision that to this day is as vivid as if I was living it right now. I saw myself and two asian boys that were about the same age getting on an airplane to go meet John in Florida, he was there working a job that was going to be 6-8 weeks long and had been there already for 3 weeks. The boys were right around the age for early school years and I couldn't tell if it was age 5 for kindergarten or age 6 for first grade but they were both boys and one was Colton. We stayed at a rented bungalow near a beach and was there for 3 weeks when we needed to return to Oklahoma for some obligation that involved me. In the vision I had a feeling that John and I were also thinking about or fully waiting for a "girl" and I knew this wasn't the first time I had joined him with the "boys" on an out of town job. As John took us back to the airport I remember John and I talking about what we would do if the job went longer than 2 weeks which is what should have been left on the job and it was a normal conversation--one we had had many times already. An interesting note as that I knew the "girl" we were waiting for wasn't KOREAN like the two boys-- even though I couldn't see the face of the other boy I knew he was Korean like Colton. The vision continued only it was at a different time of the year since the scene from Florida was during the summer months. The next scene was during the fall and I saw myself packing my red car full of household supplies and clothes for several months and heading out to the eastern side of the U.S. to join John on a job he had begun. I knew we were heading to somewhere near New York city and the "kids" and I were going to take a week of sightseeing to get there.I also packed school work as I was going to home school the kids during the 3-4 month time we would be away so I assumed they were older than what they were in the Florida scene. I also knew there was another child but I couldn't see who or what it was just that this child didn't need homework and I wasn't bringing baby stuff. The scene ended when I arrived at the place John was and found out we would be living in the heart of a big city in a high rise apartment and I saw we had brought our dog with us. There were two more scenes in the vision one was me and boys arriving home after one of our trips to be with John and having them run up stairs to their room while I flipped through the mail--I could tell the house had "neutral colored walls" and there was peace when we entered the house, but that truly the "coming and going" was actually our real home and this was just our place of refreshing. There wasn't this I'm so glad to be done with that trip attitude and ready to get back to my "real life"--this was our "base of refreshment" but our home was wherever we happened to be at that moment. The last vision was of John and I in our church--I heard what was at the time just our Pastors son say from the pulpit that it was good to have John and Anita home for the next few weeks as we had a church project to get done. The pastors son is now the pastor of the church and so now it makes sense to me why he was on the platform.I knew in this scene that John and I came and went from this place--sometime we were gone for long periods of time and other times we were in Oklahoma for long periods of time but that we were never again fully rooted and staying here forever. The church and the house we lived in was our "home base" and we came and went as God directed. I knew there were times the kids and I were at the church without John as he was away on a job but that if it lasted more than 3 weeks than the kids and I went to him instead of staying here the whole time he was gone. I also knew that some times we went with him for the whole time of a job and other times we joined him off and on but that God used us in ministry and in construction in this type of a lifestyle. And then I just woke up from the vision. Colton was only home for 5 months and was 17 months old at the time I had seen all this.
It's been almost 3 years since that vision and later next week John leaves to go look at a job in HOUSTON--he almost didn't tell me about the job opportunity but once he did I think I shocked him at how excited I was!! I know that this is the beginning of that next phase for us that we will travel --some years a lot and some years not at all but we will do both work and ministry when we go, I have this strong since that the pull for Special Needs orphans will combine with the construction knowledge John has and God will open doors for us to share our heart for the ones "not yet chosen"!!!
I told John I have "friends in Houston" so Suzy if you are reading this we might be coming to Texas in the next month!!!! The fact is I spend so much time on the Internet on adoption sites and forum that the boys and I will not lack for fellowship as I know of plenty adoptive moms around the US and I look forward to seeing some of you in the future face to face as God brings the visions to pass!!!
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