Heart Tugs......

NO I'm talking a physical sensation but the emotional and spiritual ones that seem to come when you least expect them and often times take your breath away. Many times we as humans feel a "heart tug" and think oh that's me just wanting something or we totally ignore it, but I believe those heart tugs are placed by God and there for a reason.

I have many heart tugs daily and I have to admit there are times I wish I could just push them to the side and forget but I know my FATHER is watching and waiting for my response. He is waiting to open the door for me but first I must take that step forward and that sometimes is the hardest step of all. God put inside of me a true heart for the parentless that goes beyond my own two sons that joined the family by adoption, but I feel so powerless on what to do with that tug. After all I'm just a simple housewife in Oklahoma with no resources to do anything for anyone yet the tugs continue. I have at times tried my best to walk away from Special needs orphans who are still waiting for someone to see them and believe in them the way I know my GOD sees them, but I can't stay gone for long as God tugs at me once again and I know I must answer that call! It isn't every "waiting child" or "every special needs orphans" that tug at my heart. I look daily at a vast amount of waiting to be found kids and the ones that I know GOD is speaking to me about are the ones that seem to look' deep in my soul' when I stare at them--some of these children only have a bio written about them and no picture yet it's like those words are been burned deep within me for a reason and I know I must do something.

So what do I do about them? First and most important I pray for that child,if I can, I print off their picture and post them on my office wall which is something I need to get back to since I have moved to a new house. I leave them up until they are matched and continue to pray for them daily. There are those that I know that I know if I could move forward with the adoption of them myself God would provide but at this time that isn't possible as my husband doesn't have the same "tug". Those are the ones that bring tears of sorrow as I see them sit day after day without a match. Many times God will prompt me to post about them on adoption forums I frequent and I have been very pleased to say that almost every single child that I have posted after God tugged on my heart to do so has been matched!! Some right away and others months later but since words posted on cyber space never disappear you never know if someone saw the post all those months later or if prayer alone helped 'seed the desire' for that child. It was the prayers of many that opened the door for our son Braden to join the family so I know prayer is a powerful tool, yet I feel there is more God is asking of me and I don't yet know what that is.

So here I am pondering about my heart tugs on this beautiful spring day. Orphans are not my only heart tug just so everyone knows. I have had a very strong heart tug to go away with my husband alone for a weekend and shower him with devotion that would blow his socks off but have yet to bring that tug to past either.There are many more tugs and I know I will get to them someday as long as I step toward them and stop pushing them back deep down. I want with all my heart to fullfill the plans God has for me and I know it is HE who is tugging at my heart today and so I will answer that tug as best I can in the only way I know how for now and pray for the ones HE has revealed to me today. They are precious and adorable and long for a mom and dad. You can find them here and if you know me well it won't take much to figure out which three have TUGGED at my heart so strong I thought it was going to burst! http://twietconfetti.blogspot.com/
It's the first time in over 4 years that I have looked at a "non asian" child and felt that passion that this could be mine and I was totally blown away by it and I have no idea what to do from here as my husband is still firm in his heart that we are done so I'm praying for direction and wisdom and pondering the tugs of my heart till direction or a family comes forward.

But I'd like to know from anyone who has taken the time to read this what are your "HEART TUGS"? How do you answer them? Do you have any regrets? I had a add to the family tug that took over 13 years to complete and I can truly say I thought I would go insane waiting for that tug to come to pass but THEY WERE WORTH THE WAIT!! I'd love to hear from you as your heart tug stories give me hope and most of all I think sharing your tugs are a way of bringing them out from that deep part they live in that is so easy to ignore when you think there is no way for them to bloom and grow. So please share but if the public forum is to much than drop me an email at amccrackin@windstreamdotnet and I'll pray your tugs come to pass!!!