Test update

No results yet but I want to thank anyone that took the time to pray for me during the testing process. I really felt the peace of God and know that it was not just my faith getting me through.

The good news is that I SURVIVED the HIDA scan of my gallbladder--lol!!! I am highly claustrophobic and the thought of being inside a machine with no way out was causing me a bit of anxiety to say the least. I had this test over 10 years ago and the machine used back then to pick up the nuclear medicine they inject into you reminded me of a COFFIN! I had to lay on a table after they put this dye in me and they pulled this huge HEAVY camera over my whole body and took pictures for so many minutes---well it seams that technology has come a long way in 10 years and the new machine is much different than what I remember--also the test took 2 full hours and I don't remember it being that long back in the 90's. Thankfully the camera used in today's time only covers you from the neck to thigh area and you are on a padded bed with a pillow and blanket, but they still pull it down to about 2 inches off your body so you feel this huge presence of something on top of you for the two hours. The best thing of all was that JOHN was allowed to be in there with me the whole time!!! The camera is not an x-ray so no radiation( other than what they pumped into my veins-lol!!).

They put the special nuclear dye in me and pulled the machine down then went and got John to sit next to me.Unfortunately I looked up before he got there and saw this "thing" at my chin level and was having a cow when he arrived-lol!! I truly have the best husband in the world as he stood at my side and held my hand and rubbed my arm until the panic attack left. A nurse walked by and saw him standing bent over me and got the chair they provided and slipped it under him so he wouldn't have to stand the whole 2 hours---if they hadn't have come by and the panicking feeling hadn't have left he would have stood the whole two hours!!!!

I LOVE YOU HONEY AND AM SO THANKFUL YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST!!!!!!

Other than the panic of being "trapped" the test isn't that bad except you have to lay perfectly still for 2 hours. Now being the mother of 2 very active 4 year olds the chance to lay down for two hours wasn't have bad--lol!!!! And the bonus of having my wonderful hubby there holding my hand and making small talk turned out to be a restful morning and a simi good date all things considering--lol!!

After the HIDA scan I got the heart monitor put on for the next 24 hours in hopes of having one of the "big episodes" of my heart racing super fast. As it turns out always for me no matter what I do to try and produce an 'episode' into happening I always fail.There is really no rhyme or reason as to why my heart will suddenly jump up to 145-180 beats per minute at times and therefore trying to make it happen is impossible. I did have a few minor times of increased heart rate and one moderate one but the rate was not that bad, my only hope is that the moderate one will give some answers or at least warrant me wearing the monitor for a longer period of time so that we might record a major incident.

I know that it sounds like I lack faith because I'm hoping to record a major heart episode instead of posting that I'm standing on the word of God that I NEVER have another one but the truth is I have been standing on the word for over a year now and it's time I hook my faith up to the medical world to get the answers as to why my heart has these episodes. Then I will know how to apply my faith so that it never happens again. In the word it says that EVERY NAME THAT IS NAMED SHALL BOW IT"S KNEE TO THE NAME OF JESUS and I just need that exact name to what is happening to me!It could be something as simple as my hormones being out of balance or a misfiring in the heart that could be zapped so that it never misfires again. No matter what it is I'm standing on the doctors finding the EXACT cause so that we can get on with resolving the issue instead of trying to cover it up---because covering it up isn't stopping it from "breaking" through!

I have return doctor visits scheduled for the next three weeks to get the results--sounds like an eternity to wait that long but since I have been dealing with it now for over a full year a few more weeks won't be that long!

Medical test/Prayer request

Tomorrow I'm going in for some medical test and I'm praying we will get clear answers to some of the issues I have been dealing with for the past year. In the past two months I have been having more and more irregular beats of my heart plus I began having some gastro issues on top of that,which has left me feeling somewhat of a failure in my faith walk.And if that wasn't bad enough I began having vertigo issues about three weeks ago---THANKFULLY we discovered that was being caused by fluid behind my ear drums so some over the counter decongestant and motion sickness medicine and I'll be back and walking upright in no time--PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

I fully believe in the power of the NAME OF JESUS and HIS shed Blood for me. I have stood on the word of God for many things and prayed and had answers given in times past so this year of medical issues has thrown me for a loop because it feels as though my faith isn't working. I know that I know that what the word says is true and that the word DOES WORK!! I'm still standing on Isaiah 53:4-5 which reads in the amplified bible:
Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains, yet we considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God. 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities: the chastisement peace and well being for us was upon Him and with the stripes (that wounded) Him we are healed and made whole
It is the word that sets me free from the pain and medical issues that are present in my body and since I have not been able to see a manifestation of that healing with just my faith alone I have decided to use every known thing under the sun to aid me. So while I feel like a failure in faith I know that God will work the miracle I need at whatever level my faith is at,which is why I'm so glad to go have these tests done!Bright and early John will be taking me to the hospital to have a scan done on my gallbladder and afterward I'm going to be hooked up to a heart monitor for 24 hours. I'm praying that if even the slightest thing is wrong with my gallbladder it will show up on the scan so my doctor and me can decide what to do from here. Also I have been having irregular heart beats off and on now for a full year but never when I'm at the doctor or if I have a really bad episode by the time I get to the hospital it is over so they have never been able to document one to know what is causing them so I'm praying I have one show up on the monitor. My doctor wants me to not take the meds that are suppose to stop this irregularities and to try and do anything possible to make an "attack" happen so we can get a good one or two on the monitor recording so I'm praying I have a real good one which wont be hard because things have gotten so bad that my heart will start racing in the middle of the night while sleeping and several times a day for no reason..

Getting the test results will be the first stage in knowing what to do and I believe with all my heart that God will direct the doctor with wisdom and understanding so that I can get on with my life!!

Moving again!

I don't know if I should say UGH! or PRAISE GOD! But we are going to be moving again.
Most likely it will be in the next three months as we will have the ability to buy around the first of September.

A few weeks ago our land lady called to ask about us buying the house and at the time John was very honest and told her that because of the neighbor situation he wasn't ready to say a 100% yes to buying the house, he really wanted to see if the neighbors were going to change their opinion about having kids living next to them before we committed to a HUGE mortgage. She fully understood but told us that she really needed to sell the house even though we have a two year lease agreement and she would "make things right with us".

We will get no less than a 60 day notice to move but we have decided to start looking and not wait around till the last minute. The good news is that John thinks it will be for a PERMANENT HOUSE AND NOT A RENTAL--PRAISE GOD !!!!!! The bad news is that I'm so tired of looking at houses that I have house apathy-lol!!! I'm sorta afraid that we will just take the first thing that is sorta ok just because we are both tired of thinking about what we really want and having to hunt for it,only to wake up 6 months after moving and realise we hate the place. Not to mention that I have to once again keep a house perfect and spotless for showings with 2 four year olds running around.--UGH!!! I'm so so tired of the thought of having to scramble around to get the house ready because someone is coming over to see it.....pray for me as I need it to endure this final leg to our new home.

The realtor is coming tomorrow to take pictures which means I'm trying to run around and get things organized and decluttered ( not that there is much clutter just to much for showing a house in my opinion) but that is a little bit difficult right now as I have developed some sort of vertigo and moving around makes it worse. It's pretty darn hard to clean the toilets while laying on the couch waiting for the room to stop spin--lol!!! I"m heading to the doctor after I finish this post and hope to have a better idea about what is causing all of this and will update my medical PRAISE REPORT as I'm believing to make soon.

In the mean time this is our prayer request about the "future house" we are wanting to find and buy.
No less than 3 bedrooms
an office if it's only a 3 bedroom
upstairs game room
three car garage
open floor plan
NICE NEIGHBORS!!!!
Big back yard

We have actually had the time to re-evaluate our wants and needs for a forever house and are willing to look in some neighborhoods that we once thought we didn't want to consider so that opens up more possibilities. We are also thinking of looking at some fixer uppers as long as it's in a good neighborhood. Before John was so tired of working on our Wagoner house he wanted a move in ready one and now we are thinking of finding one in need of some TLC at a great price....but move in ready is still wonderful too--lol!!

Summer Fun!

Remember the summers of your childhood when you spent all day doing things that you never let your kids do now?-lol!! It seems today that our society has forgotten how to let kids be kids, but if you give them enough time and let them be, the kids will do what comes naturally.

This afternoon we had a play date and while not everyone could stay all day some did so we let them out to play in the sprinklers just like when we were young. NO fancy splash pool, slip and slide, or anything else just water coming out of the yard sprinklers( ok I admit growing up we didn't have a sprinkler system to water the yard--heck we never watered the yard as that just made the grass grow and make us have to mow it more-lol!!) and of course when you let three boys alone in the yard with water to play till they get "caught" this is what you get.........Why is it that boys + water = head to toe mud-lol!! They had a great time and got a good mud treatment so they should all wake up with wonder smooth skin--lol!! Hope your summer is being filled with wonderful childhood memories too!

And she's off!!!

This morning at 4:30 on the dot Annie flew the coop to Mexico!!!!! She is going back for her third missions trip. They arrived in Mexico City at 10 after noon and are more than likely already in some park doing their skits to help spread the word of God.

Every time she comes home from one of the trips she is ready to step out and do what God told her to do but there always seems to be a road block that comes up and derails her drive and enthusiasm.Annie has had some struggles over the past two years and has been trying to figure out what EXACTLY God has for her, she isn't happy with just heading in a direction to "see if that is what she should do" as she wants EXACT details. So when she returns she will begin a two week course to get her CNA license as she feels lead to become a nurse. For now her plans are to get the CNA certificate and than get on at one of our local hospitals and work her way through school and jobs at the hospital. I'm very proud of all she has accomplished so far and I know this time when she returns it will be different.

If you have time and think about her please lift her up in prayers for the next week. She gets home on Thursday evening and I'm sure we will be hearing an ear full of all that went on while gone. On trips past she has had a great time sharing the love of GOD to the very young children--the kind that are filthy and no one wants to hold and love--she really has a gift in talent when it comes to young children. I know that God will use her in ways she never dreamed of with this talent as it really is a gift from Him for His service.

I had a really hard time letting her go this time. After seeing her struggle and getting so ill back in December, this over protective mother doesn't want her far from me but she really isn't mine to keep, just on LOAN FROM GOD for the season of growing up and being trained in the ways she should go so that she could be given back to the Father that sent her through me in the first place,so that HIS WILL BE DONE.

No TV!!!

I have a feeling that I'm not the only mom in America that is guilty of using the TV during the day as entertainment for the kids. Of course I say I'm only turning it on so I can grab a quick shower in the morning but when my shower is done it never gets turned off, and since it's on a "kids" station that claims it's programing is "educational" I justify letting my sons brains turn to mush as they spend countless hours watching mindless tv. But lately Colton and Braden have been driving me crazy with their short attention spans, disregard to the house rules, and wild running around and I realized the biggest reason is MY FAULT. In stead of giving them the attention they need and the guidance I should, I gave them the BIG BLACK BOX in the living room that stays turned on from the moment we wake up till we head to bed.

So today I woke up and decided enough is enough and there will be no more TV during the summer during the day. Since I'm a stay at home mom I have full control over the remote and plan on leaving it in the box on the mantle. I can not stop my hubby from turning the darn thing on once he gets home but I'm hoping he will see the improvement in the boys and decide that no TV is a good thing and keep the thing off until they go to bed!!

It's only 11 am in the morning and so far my boys have played more, used their imagination more, TALKED more ( which since they both have some speech issues is a HUGE thing), interactive more with each other and most of all been far more calmer and obeyed better than they have in a VERY LONG TIME!!!! The funny thing is that I too have been far more productive in my house hold chores which surprises me since I figured it won't really effect me that much because it was always "kid" shows blaring in the house.

I know that the greatest impact is that I will have to give MORE OF ME to the boys by correcting them when they do things that are wrong instead of ignoring them and letting go back to watching TV like I use to. It also means that when they get tired and are cranky instead of putting in a movie to let them vegetate I will actually have to teach them to calm down and give them skills for coping other than mindless watching of the tv--so my "work" as mom will increase but the truth is that is my job anyway!! I am the one that let the TV do my parenting and it is very evident in the behaviors of my kids so it's my job to undue those effects and put into them what they need to be a success in life.

I am loving the peaceful sound that the house has today!! I have found that since I"m getting old I don't tolerate background noise like I use to. All those years I longed to be a parent again and wanted the sound of kids in the house had been drowned out with the noise of the TV, now I'm fully enjoying the sounds of my sons as they play imaginary things--they really do have a great imagination and it's so cute to hear them "pretend" to be deep sea fishermen or wild animals in the jungle. The sounds of their laughter is so much better than the sound of "qubo" blaring in the background!

I hope I have the strength to keep it up as it really is so easy to turn on that darn TV when you need a few minutes of peace and quite!! It won't be easy putting back into my boys all that I should have been putting into them all along but in the end having well behaved kids that can sit still for more than two minutes will be worth all the effort! Anyone else out there ready to take the NO TV PLUNGE? I'd love to hear it if you are and willing to lend support during those trying moments when you want to go back to letting the TV keep your kids quite and entertained so you can have a few moments of peace.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR-----PART3 THE STORM!

Sorry to keep the third part from everyone for so long but I was waiting till the investigation was over. If you're wondering what INVESTIGATION it was done by DHS. It seems one of my neighbors had turned me in for "running an illegal daycare"!!!

On May 14th while finishing cleaning up and getting ready for a play date with another Mom and her kids I got a knock at the door. I thought it was Mary arriving but it was a man who introduced himself as "J" (name not revealed by me!) and he flashed a DHS badge that made my heart sink. Having been a foster mom I told myself not to panic and slam the door on him but that is what I wanted to do--lol!! He said he was here to investigate if I was running an illegal daycare and that he was with the licence department for daycare with DHS--(whew I thought it was child protective service!!).

As soon as I opened the door Colton and Braden both ran out as they were expecting their friends and I had to grab them and drag them back in. "J" took one look at the "asian kids" and asked if they were mine which I SAID YES THEY ARE!!!! We ADOPTED THEM FROM SOUTH KOREA. As soon as I said that the look on "J"'s face changed and he knew he was here on a false report. I invited him in which I think shocked him as most DHS people are not welcomed with open arms but since I had a relationship with DHS as a foster mom I knew the more helpful you are the better it is for you. I also let him know about how UNFRIENDLY this neighborhood was towards children and how I have one neighbor in particular that stands in her driveway when I have the boys outside playing with her hands on her hips and a very angry look on her face,plus she drives by slowly and gives me dirty looks anytime we are outside. I then told him about how I watch my grand babies all the time and that we have been having many play dates lately with different kids and right on that cue my friend Mary arrived with her two kids for our play date--lol!!!

"J" asked my friend if she was here for a play date and she said YES and that made "J" chuckle a little as he knew he was out on a false report but still had to follow through. I had to give out the names of all the kids that come over so he could "follow up" and I let him know we had been watching one little boy off and one while his mother prepared for surgery and would be keep him once she did have surgery and "J" let me know that was all OK and not a problem. In fact in the state of Oklahoma you can watch any child you want for up to 15 hours a week and not need a licence and you are allowed to watch your grand kids or relative kids for however long and NEVER NEED A LICENCE for that .

I told "J" that I had been thinking of doing a daycare or going back to foster care as I have been trying to figure out a way to bring in extra income and be a blessing to someone at the same time. "J" was very helpful in answering my questions as the DHS website is not always the best user friendly site for explaining some of the rules. He even laughed a little about how the neighbors would really love me if I would do that--lol!! He left a packet of info for me to look at and I have been praying about it and trying to figure out what God would have me do but haven't had peace about any of the things I have come up with on my own. ( I think God has some things in our future that I should be available to do or ready to "go" and so that is why I never have peace when I think of "tying" myself down to a job).

So yesterday all the parents who I turned in as regular play date kids got the call from DHS and confirmed everything I had said. I expect to get the report soon that will clear me of any" illegal acts of child care". The day of the investigation at my house I was pretty much numb by the whole thing but by night I was outraged which lead to me seeking out the word of God about loving thy neighbor.

I will admit that if I could have called down hell,fire and brimstone on the neighbors that first night I would have!!! After all I am a human being subject to failure and very carnal at times, so I spent most of that night laying there wide awake and praying. It was in the early morning hours that I realised all those times I had prayed to GOD to move us from Wagoner and into a neighborhood so we could be a "beacon of light" to the neighbors that God had just the place He needed us to be at. This wasn't what I thought when I was praying to move but clearly this is a "dark neighborhood" and God's light needs to shine in it. I will be faithful to be a light of love and compassion to the neighbors and pray daily to have the strength to do so. But I'm also doing everything possible to protect my kids as John and I have started keeping a photo log of all the things that break the rules of the HOA by the people that do not have kids( in this neighborhood there are only three families with kids including us and one family just put their home on the market!) If we are continued to be hassled we will contact a lawyer and file suit against the HOA for violating the fair housing act. IT states it not only is illegal to discriminate against selling or renting to people with kids but is also illegal to make it unbearable for some one with kids to live somewhere. Jesus never took the injustices of His day and age in stride but clearly addressed them head on even showing anger at times by the things being done and openly rebuked people. He didn't just "turn the other cheek" and continue to allow things to happen, He called people on the carpet about their own hypocrisy and we will to if needed.

I never would have dreamed that someone would be so low as to call DHS just to hassle someone else but really nothing in this life should surprise anyone. It is shocking and unnerving to think what our neighbors would do to try to get rid of us but we will not be driven out. I do NOT THINK FOR ONE MOMENT THAT GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH US A LESSON ON WALKING IN LOVE so let me make that clear!!! I do believe that Satan is trying hard to steal this blessing of this house from us. To many times christians blame GOD for the wrong things going on in their life saying He is "teaching me a lesson" but I serve a LOVING KIND FATHER and He would never do someting awful to me to teach me to be strong,just I would never do anything awful to my kids to teach them a lesson. John 10:10 states clearly--¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Satan is the thief trying to steal our joy over this house and place that God provided for us!! God needs us here right at this time to shine HIS love and light to those that have either forgotten what love is or have never really known the love of God. An abundant life if not one that is filled with treasures for just me and blessing for just me but one that is full of blessings and treasures that I might have more than enough to give to others also!!

Please pray for us as we walk out this part of our life--standing strong in the midst of a storm is not always easy but being faithful to what God needs you to do comes with a blessing that may not be revealed at first and once it is will be so good we will look back and say I'm glad we endured!